Dancing With Darkness

-6-

No.

Last night didn't happen...

'One day you'll get it Dani, you're an unlovable little creep. Who could love someone as damaged as you?' rang through my head, like an unwanted echo.

Damn.

Sitting in the bathtub is one of the only ways I can relax my whole body, mind and of course to keep warm. It's the first time in a long time I ever let anyone see me half naked, or even kissed me below the mouth. I know it's weird I just never had that trust with Sam to come close to me intimately, or anyone really. Clearly, I had good reason for that too if recent events show my taste in men.

I've never mentioned to anyone before, not even Rosie but I have some sort of- well actually I'm not sure what to call it but it started a couple of years ago after everything that happened. See I can read people, and their aura's, I can get into their minds if I really want to, but I don't like to because it feels invasive, and why should I be able to ruin others privacy?

I try to forget it's there as much as possible, almost like trying to hide away memories from an unwanted past like mine. I'm only too used to doing that.

In fact, I have only used it a couple of times on purpose and other times are usually when someone has heightened emotions or their thoughts just literally project to me, but this is only when they are desperate in their own heads.

Sam convinced me to go out one night when we had been together for a while, I was stressed and tired and had an argument with my mum based of the fact that she works so hard I barely see her, and when she isn't working she's too busy going on dates looking for something meaningful. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, but she tries to hard to be. Her mind was the first I could read since I found out I could do it, and what I plucked from her mind was so incredibly upsetting that I just felt frozen, and started an unnecessary argument with less than kind words, it was like I wasn't enough so I headed over to Sam's place. Of course, she has no idea that I heard what she said in her mind, but she was still pretty bewildered by my outburst, she was so upset she didn't mention what I said again, and I chose to forget it too.

She thought 'I miss Gerald, he's the love of my life and I want to forget him, but I just can't, When Danielle was born, that day changed everything. He looked at her like she was unnatural like she was a monster. He said she wasn't normal. A few days later he left, left us both, left me with her.'

I never knew my mum blamed me for my father leaving, but she tries to pretend everyday like I'm good in her life and spends ninety percent of her time at work or out on 'dates' I just go with it, because I can't stand the idea of not being wanted by both parents, the rejection of one is enough.

I used to get random thoughts chucked into my head just by touch, usually only on bare skin, which is why I don't let absolutely anyone touch me.

Wearing gloves would be an option if it didn't make me stand out like a complete fool.

Sam comforted me but from a safe distance at his, it was rare he would ever get to touch me, he was patient with me for a while, a real gentleman. I told him only about the argument with my mother not about what she thought otherwise he would think I was a literal psycho. I don't know if he thought that I was unusually vulnerable that night, but he tried to kiss me, and I really wasn't in the mood, I backed away. And that's when I saw his aura, the heightened emotions I was trying so hard to contain must have triggered the aura, I still haven't fully worked out why or when I can see them, but on that night it happened.

It put me on edge, made me uneasy. That's when the doubts about our 'compatibility' began.

Auras that surround people are pretty straight forward for me to distinguish, however it still took me a long time to figure out on my own, I couldn't trust books about Myths and legends, I mean I know that I can do something out of the ordinary, but I'm not a witch, or anywhere close to a title like that.. any other books led me into silly legends, such as vampires, werewolves, zombies, all that fantasy rubbish.