Flower Bromance | Kihyuk MONSTA X

Chapter 23

Minhyuk was lifelessly letting his pencil strike over the half-empty piece of paper. The strokes of mild watercolours slowly started to form a peach coloured flower.

He was sitting on the floor in Kihyun's room. Even though the invitation had made him happy, he just kept on getting reminded about his feelings. It made him sad and angry everytime his heart started throbbing near his best friend. He hated himself for it and didn't know how much longer he could take it anymore. Therefore, he chose to crook his neck and spine as much as possible so that he wouldn't get bothered by looking at Kihyun's face.
Not because it was ugly but because it was the best thing he had ever seen.

He couldn't and wouldn't give up on the art contest. If it was something Minhyuk was, that was stubborn. Determinated, he forced himself to continuing adding more and more layers on his drawing.

Then, he suddenly felt a hand on his chin which made his heart skip a beat as he let his guard down and looked up, meeting the eyes of Kihyun.

"Don't be mad. I just removed a strand of white hair. Who did you fuck over?" He laughed softly with a voice that could make Minhyuk's ears melt at any time.

Minhyuk swallowed. "It's my dog, Dambi's." And he was actually speaking the truth.

"Of course it was." Kihyun smiled at the thought of Minhyuk's small, fluffy dog who was probably downstairs sleeping under the kitchen table.

Minhyuk nodded, lowering his head again.

Kihyun cleared his throat. "Minhyuk- Is something wrong...?" He carefully asked, noticing how his attempt of cheering up the usually energic boy had failed. A simple nod was all he got as an answer. Again.

After sitting in silence for a while, Kihyun had enough. He snatched Minhyuk's paper and pencil with fury as unpredictable as he could be. "Minhyuk! Look at me!" The frustrated Kihyun snapped. He got no reaction whatsoever. He just watched how Minhyuk's sitting position became more and more crooked to the point that he could be compared to a macaroni. Smack. Kihyun slapped Minhyuk's cheek making him shriek in pain.
"Look at me, Minhyuk! What's wrong?!"

No answer was given but in fact, Minhyuk was shaking to prevent any tears to escape.

"Minhyuk...Please. Tell me what's wrong." His friend begged, biting his lip but this time he didn't wait for a response. "Am I the one who's wrong?" Kihyun suddenly asked with a completely monotone tone, sending chills down Minhyuk's spine.

As he looked up, he saw how Kihyun was now the one hiding his face behind his bangs. "Kihyun, you did nothing wrong." Minhyuk assured, surprised by the adruption of the question.

"Don't lie to me. Why else would you be this unhappy?" He further asked and if one listened closely, they could hear that he was on the bringe of starting to cry.

"Kihyun, that's not your fault..." Minhyuk mumbled as he could feel a sting of guilt hit his guts. He then tried to reach out his hand to comfort his friend but got it slapped away.

"STOP! JUST STOP LYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!" Kihyun growled with such fierce in his usually honey-like smooth voice that it cracked half through the sentence. His loud yelling made Minhyuk scared. He had never seen Kihyun this ragious. A boy with temper? That's for sure but never had he shouted to this point and it made Minhyuk scared.

Before even knowing it, Kihyun was sulking and crying out of control and now stood up right in front of Minhyuk who sat down. "I know I have MANY faults just how could I be so wrong?! Is it me who is making you act so distant? Do you not like me anymore?!" He screamed on top of his lungs with the salty tears streaming down his cheeks.

Minhyuk was in shock and couldn't push himself to say a thing. He felt horrible, now aware of that he was the one hurting Kihyun all along. How foolish. Still his coward side took over, silencing him, suffocating him to the point that he forgot every word he had learnt so far in his life.

He watched Kihyun rub his swollen face with the black sweater sleeve of his hoodie with fury. It left a red colour on his skin which was painful to see.

"You never contact ME first...You never ask ME if I'm okay anymore! Is that my fault?" Kihyun continued to spit out all the feelings that had bottled up inside of him, making Minhyuk see everything from a different perspective and he didn't stop. "But it's okay. I know I deserve this, I KNOW that I have been ignoring you, Minhyuk. It was never to hurt you. I just don't understand you no matter how hard I try!"

Kihyun's crying had become less intense but his whole body radiated an overwhelming wave of sadness, guilt and self hate.
The sight of seeing him pull strands of his own hair off in frustration made Minhyuk want to cry too. It was as if Kihyun really wanted to hurt himself, as if he truly believed he was a monster. Someone who deserved pain.

It didn't take long before his next crying session erupted. "I'm just so sorry for everything! I'm sorry for not caring about our art project, I'm sorry for not caring about you. Just tell me...WHY are you behaving like this?! Why are you avoiding me, why won't you look me in the eyes anymore?" Kihyun ranted in desperation, rubbing his face to hide his tears over and over again until his skin seemed tortured. "I-"

Suddenly he got interrupted by feeling himself getting pulled into Minhyuk's tight embrace. Kihyun went completely silent and sank down on the floor with Minhyuk following whoms shoulder he faithfully sobbed into. They sat there for a long while just hugging without saying a word. Minhyuk kept on stroking Kihyun's back until he finally could feel how his heartbeats were getting calmer and no more tears were rolling down like waterfalls.

Kihyun quietly asked once again. "Minhyuk- Why did you ignore me like that?"

Minhyuk's thoughts got completely cut off and he himself froze. "Because..." He started but cut himself off as the rapid heartbeats started to throb in his chest and he was lucky that his face could not be seen in that position judging from how red it probably was. "Because-" Minhyuk's thin lips shook. He swallowed and decided to pull himself together as he leaned closer to Kihyun's ear and whispered with a shaky voice. "Because I- I love you." He stuttered and pulled away from the hug that had prevented him from looking into Kihyun's eyes. Eyes that were looking at him with a surprised look.

Minhyuk inhaled once again. He couldn't keep it in anymore.
"Because everytime I would look at you, my heart would beat as if it was running a marathon. Because whenever you smiled at me, I would feel like the happiest person alive. Because your presence would make my hands shake out of nervousity. Because for each time that your laughter would ring in my ears, I would fall deeper and even more deep in love. Because I was scared by all of that and because I was scared that you didn't feel the same. Scared that you would hate me forever. That is why I kept away." He finally finished with a melancholy grin on his lips as he stared into Kihyun's dark eyes which had become big as plates.

"Minhyuk, that was beautiful. I'm...so sorry." Kihyun pushed himself to whisper. "But you know we can't be together."

Minhyuk nodded "I know." He said with a calm voice. "Just tell me what you feel so I won't have to be scared anymore."

Kihyun hesitatedly thugged on his sweaters sleeves. "I don't know."

"It's okay." Minhyuk comforted and stroke Kihyun's cheek before collecting his things as he started walking against the door. "You can come to me and tell me at any time." He forced a mild smile before closing the door behind him. "I love you."

Left in the now messy room was Kihyun who just stared at the shut door in front of him.
"I love you too."