Freed

Thirty-Eight

"So the Royal Highness, and I are stepping out for a bit. Will you be able to manage a few boring hours without us?" Klaus asks, walking into the lounge with Ariel strapped to his chest.

"Sure," I say, switching on the tv. "See you in a bit." I blow him a flying kiss, smiling.

"We'll get you something, don't worry." Klaus winks at me, turns on his heel and heads towards the front door.

"Bye," I call out.

"You smile but you don't," Dean says, stepping into the lounge from the kitchen. "You laugh, but I can't hear the whole-hearted sound of it. You seem to be having fun, but I know in reality you're in a completely different world altogether." I laugh, looking at him in disbelief.

"From where're you cooking up all this?" I question, raising my eyebrows. "Have you decided to change careers and become a failing poet or something?" Dean leans against a wall, crossing his feet at the ankles.

"I'm just stating what I see," Deans shrugs his shoulders, smiling coyly. His eyes are brimming with an emotion that I can't quite decipher. It's a look that says he knows something that I'm not in on. "Mus, what're you doing?" I look at my best friend, confused.

"Are you drunk?" I ask, sniffing the air for the smell of beer. "Isn't it a bit too early to be drinking, Dean?"

"Girl, you're unhappier than me on payday." Dean states matter-of-factly. "And the upsetting part is that you don't even realize it."

"I'm happy!" I exclaim, sitting up. "I have a beautiful baby, a dotting boyfriend and you. What's there not to be happy about?" Dean pushes himself off the wall and saunters towards me.

"Well, for starters, Harry isn't in your life no more." Dean raises his index finger as if he's counting. "Oh, and he isn't in your life no more. Oh, and did I mention he's not in your life no more?"

"Ha-Ha, very funny, Dean." I narrow my eyes at him. "All relationships aren't meant to be end game and that's perfectly alright. Ours wasn't either," I shrug. "And it's okay, because I feel much better now. I'm in my happy place," I grin to prove a point to Dean.

"And still that doesn't reach your eyes," he says, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, fuck you." I say, straight-faced. Dean just smiles at me and exits the lounge, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the tv. Usually my best friend is real good at detecting my emotions, but today he's quite obviously wrong. I'm content with what I have at the moment.

Pulling my knees up to my chest, I rest my head on them and put my mind to good work. Am I content? I scoff. Of course I am! Hmm...

Sometimes I do feel as if I'm missing something. For example when Klaus and I go out on a date, or when we spend time with Ariel, like a family. Everything's perfect and we're all having a good time, but something definitely feels off. There's always something lacking.

Whenever Klaus is teasing me, or performing any other activity, often I find my mind drifting towards Harry; and I end up thinking what he'd do in the same situation, or how different things would be with him. It disturbs me quite a bit, but voicing such a thing out is like signing my relationship's death warrant. Bad habits, that's all.
*******

"Mus, we gotta talk." Klaus says, swinging our entwined hands back and forth.

"About?" I ask, my eyes scanning the shop windows.

"You not being happy." I halt, turning to face Klaus.

"What is up with everyone today?" I question, frustrated. "There's nothing not to be happy about!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air.

"Mus, come on," Klaus smiles at me knowingly. "I was your friend before turning into your boyfriend, and so I know you quite well."

"Did Dean say something?" I throw my head back, groaning. "I'm perfectly fine, trust me."

"No, Dean didn't say anything," Klaus says, wrapping his hands around my forearms. "But I have drawn this conclusion on my own." He nods towards the cement stairs. "Come, sit." I oblige, ad we both take a seat on the bottom step.

Klaus glances around the place, watching the people and the sights around us. I stare at the ground, wondering how this conversation will go.

"Mus, I love you very much and you know that," Klaus says. "But I also want to see you happy and you're not with me." Klaus is still not looking at me, his gaze traveling everywhere but heading towards my face. "Yes, you smile and yes, you laugh, and I'm sure that the moments are enjoyable. But I also know that you aren't completely content. But we have to be completely honest, Mus, so that I can find a solution to this issue." A tear is visible on Klaus' face underneath the street lamp. "I need to know what you're missing, or more importantly who you're missing."

"No one," I say hastily. "Klaus, I'm getting kinda irritated with this topic. So can we please drop it?" I don't understand why he's even discussing such a subject which causes him pain.

"Mus, you are always running from the important stuff in your life," Klaus finally looks at me. His eyes are brimming with tears, a few of them streaking his cheeks. "Come on, tell me. Do you miss Harry? Or is it just me who's a pain in your ass?" Klaus manages to crack a smile.

I clench my jaw, tossing the questions around in my head. Why are Dean and Klaus able to read me so easily? Am I portraying it in such a manner? Frowning, I put my brain to good use and try to find an answer from deep within.

"Yes," I answer after a few minutes. "Yes, I miss him. But there's no point in thinking of all this because Harry and I are through. It'll be unfair on him if I ask for his love back after giving it up so easily."

"Why did you give it up?" Klaus asks, smiling. How can this man be so kind to me? How can he talk about another man's love that I harbor in my heart without fury rushing through his veins?

"You know, that's the funny part, Klaus," I say. "The last months that Harry and I spend together were hell. We argued, fought, I hated him and he probably hated me too. But whenever I think back on them I always smile. Because even through all that, we shared a love greater than a lot of people do, in my opinion. Our worlds are what interfered. I can't live in his and he can't live in mine," I shake my head in disbelief at the unfairness of the situation. "But yes, I still love him and miss him immensely."

"Mus, you haven't been keeping up with the news." Where the hell has he brought this up from all of a sudden? "Harry has managed to transform his kingdom into something that has never been seen before. He has completely revamped the system in the past two months. It's unbelievable, Mus." Klaus lets out a bark of laughter. "The rebels have been calmed down, the policies are a thousand times better and Mus, he's living amongst the locals. He spends his days and nights working with locals and experiencing their problems first hand, so that he can come up with solutions. Harry has flipped the whole game," Klaus grins at me excitedly.

My eyes widen in surprise, as I soak in my boyfriend's words.

"Are you...Are you serious?" I ask, incredulity evident in my tone. "Has that...Are you bullshitting with me right now?" Klaus shakes his head, his hand moving towards my head and messing up my hair.

"I'm quite serious, love. Harry has become the man you want," Klaus says. "In fact, he's even better." My heart is screaming with joy. I can't believe this. I want to contact Harry immediately and congratulate him, and that's when the realization hits me. What am I thinking? I broke up with him and now I have no right whatsoever to call him up.

"Klaus, it doesn't matter anyway," I say. "Let's go home."