The Runaway Bride

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"You can't do that!" the Doctor said, still looking at the bride as if she was a ghost. "I wasn't - " He looked at the console in confusion. "We're in flight! That is . . . " He looked at Jessie. "That is physically impossible!" He turned back to the bride. "How did - "

"Tell me where I am!" she shouted back in a British accent, and Jessie groaned. "I demand you, tell me right now, where am I?"

"Always the English," she muttered.

The Doctor might have smiled. She couldn't tell. "Inside the TARDIS."

The bride blinked. "The what?"

"The TARDIS."

"The what?"

"The TARDIS!"

"The what?"

"She's called the TARDIS," Jessie interrupted before the Doctor could shout at her.

"That's not even a proper word!" the bride protested. "You're just saying things!"

"Well, it's short for Time And Relative Dimension In Space," Jessie said promptly, then she blinked and groaned. "Oh, great, does this one have a mouth?"

The Doctor threw her a look before turning back to the bride. "How did you get in here?"

"Well, obviously when the two of you kidnapped me!" Jessie blinked, looking back and forth in confusion. "Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys?" The Doctor opened his mouth to respond, but the bride groaned, looking away. "Oh my God, she's finally got me back. This has Nerys written all over it!"

"Who the hell is Nerys?" the Doctor asked in confusion.

"Your best friend! She wouldn't talk to an Aussie."

"Hey!" Jessie whined. "It's not my fault I'm like this!"

The Doctor looked at her. "Kind of is," he said before blinking and turning back. "Hold on, what are you dressed like that for?"

"Oh my God, you really are daft," Jessie groaned, face palming and turning away.

"I'm going ten pin bowling," the bride said slowly before shouting again. "Why do you think, dumbo? I was halfway up the aisle! I've been waiting all my life for this! I was just seconds away, and then you . . . I don't know, you drugged me or something!"

"I haven't done anything!" the Doctor protested.

"I'm having the police on you!" the bride threatened. "Me and my husband, as soon as he is my husband, we're going to sue the living backside off you two!"

Jessie turned back around when she saw her run down the ramp towards the doors. "No, wait a minute!" she shouted, running after her.

"Wait a minute!" the Doctor shouted, too, running after her. "Don't - !"

Too late. The bride flung the doors of the TARDIS, and Jessie skidded to a stop when she saw the remains of the supernova they'd been orbiting around. "Whoa," she whispered. "I'm not doing this again."

"You're in space," the Doctor told the bride gently. "Outer space. This is my spaceship. It's called the TARDIS."

"How am I breathing?" the bride whispered in shock.

Jessie smiled at the TARDIS. "She's protecting us. The TARDIS is protecting us."

She turned to them. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Bad Wolf," Jessie said, that name flowing more easily through her than her real name. "And this is the Doctor. And you?"

The bride looked back and forth between them. "Donna."

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