Manav

Chapter 19 - He's gone

"You know what Rishi. Come, sit here." I gestured him to sit on the bed. "You've always been there talking about my life. Let us today talk about yours, okay? So tell me. How's life? What are you doing nowadays? What's been happening around? Any relations you might have kept with anyone? And oh, are you following Mark Zuckerberg? Because he also wears only one T-Shirt as you wear. He wears a plane grey tee, and you a black one having that line 'Think Out Of The Box'. Come on, tell me something about you."

He didn't utter a single word. I thought, he understood what was he doing. But the next thing which he told me, shattered me like anything.

"I must leave."

"Oh, you are going somewhere?" and he got up and went to the main door. "When are you going to be back?" I asked.

He turned back, looked at me, and he said,

"Never."

And he slammed the door. I ran hurriedly to catch the door. I opened it and called out 'Rishi!' but I couldn't see him anywhere. I came back to my room to check where was he going. I waited on the window for ten minutes, but I couldn't see him.

Did I really listen properly to what he said? He said he'll never come back. Why did he say that? Did he mean that? Was it my fault? I've lost him. But he was my friend. But I lost him. But he was my friend.

That's what I started telling myself. I had no contacts to him. He never met anyone else other than me. He always came to my house without telling me and he knew how my day went. He used to read me. He just can't go because I talked to him like that. He is not that stupid. I need to find him. I quickly went down and my eyes only searched him. I ran few blocks away, tried to find him, but he wasn't anywhere. I even went to my building's terrace to see whether he went there. But he wasn't there.

I came home and opened my laptop. Searched for him there. But all I could find was a million more people with the name Rishi, but not the one whom I was finding. I was about to cry. My head started paining. But I had to find him. I searched for any notes of paper he might have left for me somewhere, but no, my house had no traces of him. Rishi was such a guy that whatever he did, was backed by a reason. I searched for hope under the sofa, on the fan, scanned the whole kitchen, my cupboard, even those plants, but I didn't find anything.

It was three days later that I went to C5. The place where me and Piyu fought. The place where memories were stored and the place where people came to smoke. I lit up a cigarette and thought about those three days. I had my asses of my bed or any other seat just to find him. I constantly kept on thinking of what he said that day, about Arush, about Naina and I tried to find that 'never coming back' actually meant something else and not the literal meaning. I reminisced he telling me that 'Sometimes life shows you that, what you were thinking of something huge and jaw dropping, was actually a simple, small truth.' Was I really never going to meet him again?

And in this life of life and death, we all are broke once, for too much of sadness is a drug of happiness with turns

That song. It was what I only sang but never ever thought of. This was one such moment where I was broke. But the latter of that phrase I didn't understand. Was my sadness a drug for the happiness which I might experience later? And what did 'turns' mean?

My mind was blasting. Moreover the cigarette was giving me a strong kick. I only roamed the whole three days finding him. But after that cigarette, I decided to roam even more but only to somehow gulp down my pain. My broken heart needed some air. I took my scooter and headed to...well, there wasn't any destination I thought of. I just dragged myself in the drag of my life. And in that drag, my head started paining once again.