The Dragon of Life | Akatsuki no Yona Fanfiction |

5 | Learning

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   The sound of my ragged breathing was the only noise that filled the moonlit opening I'd found myself in after running for what felt like hours.

   It was only a matter of minutes before my legs had decided to give up on me. They were limp and useless as I continued to gasp in all the air my lungs could hold, exhausted.

         I'm so pathetic, I deftly realized as an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I was alone like I'd wanted to be, but I was perfectly defenseless, a fish out of water. I wasn't made to live in a place like this. My body is weak and unfamiliar to moving so much . . . I'd be surprised if I even lasted a day with Yona and the others.

         Throwing away the thought as soon as it entered my mind, I planted my face into the palms of my hands and crumpled down onto the grass. I knew that no one was there to see me, but I felt like hiding, pretending that I wasn't there.

        Even though I hated it with all my guts, I wished I was back at the hut. When I was there, no one but Ayame knew that I existed. I could ignore the Shadows because I'd be preoccupied with watching the village or listening to Ayame talk about her students and whatever story she could remember off the top of her head.

         The hut contained me. It protected kind people like Yona and Shin-Ah and Zeno from disasters that were just waiting to unravel. It protected them from me.

         You were happy while being with them, a small voice told me as I further enjoyed the darkness created by my own hands. Maybe if I stayed like that then I'd cease to exist just as the world wanted me to. No one would know it happened. I could seep into the folds of the earth and never see the light again. They don't know anything about your past, the voice persisted. They're nothing like the Shadows you disdain. They actually care about you.

         Lies. They were all filthy lies.

         No. You're only lying to yourself. What happened to finally giving yourself a chance?

         I didn't deserve it. I never did and I never would.

         That's not true and you know it. Open your eyes, you idiot.

         No. They were cursed. They'd only open to find ruin and decay.

         Open them!

         No. It would only hurt to see what I'd lost.

         You're stronger than this! The voice said before blaring at me with the ferocity of an earthquake. Just open them!

         I did. I moved my hands away from my face, and looked down to find something I hadn't expected to see in a thousand years . . .

         All the grass that I'd been sitting on had been replaced by mounds of delicately grown flowers. They were small and dainty, but their miniature petals shined an opulent white that seemed to absorb the moonlight that fell from the sky.

         I blinked, assuming that it was only an allusion, a mere trick of the light. When I realized that they were indeed real, I felt my dread melt into a murky puddle of confusion.

    How? I asked myself as I slowly went to touch one of the freshly sprouted flowers. When my fingertips brushed against it I could feel the plant along with its fellow neighbors respond to my touch. They were dancing and curious as to why I wasn't joining them . . . I couldn't have possibly done this. Aren't I supposed to be dangerous? How could growing a small patch of flowers hurt anything?