Feeling

Chapter 2 - Finding Out

A week after the operation I was told I need to be examined in case further operation was needed. They examined me and checked me for irregularities, eventually they basically said that what has happened cannot be fixed, so I may as well go home. Feeling defeated, I was lifted from my bed and into the wheelchair. The doctor leant down next to me and spoke in a quiet and understanding voice.

"I'm afraid your condition is rather sever, and unfixable, you are paralyzed from the waist down"

As soon as he said this I knew life would be difficult, even more so than normal.

"You'll have to get up some strength in order to wheel yourself around, but until then you will probably need somebody to help you" he turned to my dad, who weakly smiled then looked down at the floor.

"You may also ha-" I stopped the doctor with a strong force of my hand in his face. Steaming with anger I looked at my dad and he pushed me out of the hospital.

"Be careful!" the annoying doctor shouted as we stormed out of the hospital.

I was so furious. Not only with the hospital but with myself, if I hadn't have gone back for that present then I wouldn't be in this stupid chair, I couldn't even imagine how mum was going to react when we got home.

Dad and I sat silently in the car for the whole journey home. Every now and again he would try to make some kind of conversation but as soon as he opened his mouth he closed it again and sighed. If he had said anything I probably would have replied bluntly anyway so he probably didn't see any point in trying.

We pulled up into the drive-way and dad got the wheelchair out of the boot, he held the door open for me before realising he had to help me get out of the car. I managed to wheel myself to the front door, which was already unlocked for our return. As I entered the living room I saw my mum sat in the empty spare bedroom where we used to keep the computer, she was just sat in her wheelchair, just like me, looking out of the windows. I cleared my throat lightly and spoke.

"Mum?"

She stood up and turned around, her eyes were shut, when she opened them she had to look down to see me, with fright and surprise in her eyes she began to cry. She let out no sound. Her jaw dropped and tears just fell individually from her eyes.

Dad went straight over to her to hug her. How I wished at that moment I could have done the same. I managed to jerk my chair to face the other way and wheel myself to the living room, the TV was switched off, and unplugged from the wall. This was when I knew life wouldn't be the same.

The house remained silent for the next few weeks, nobody sent us mail, nobody rang on the telephone, you couldn't hear the radio playing from mum's bedroom, and the TV remained unplugged. Every single day dad went to work, mum coloured in all her colouring books, and I wheeled myself up and down the streets for two hours in hope of gaining strength.

Because of my situation I had to move all my things to the spare room downstairs, which is still my bedroom now, and is exactly the same as it was a year ago. Unpainted old wooden walls, with a cracked window and a small hole in the ceiling. I've always hated this room, reminds me of an old fashioned horror film in an abandoned house.

About 8 or 9 months ago things started to change. The TV was plugged back in so dad could watch the morning news before work, mum started listening to the radio again, and I enrolled into University. I wanted to study psychology, and because of my wheelchair, I applied for a special University that caters for the needs to special needs people, blind people, deaf people, and people just like me!

Things rather stayed the same until I started, except there was definitely a more positive vibe in the house, and me and mum would talk all the time.

My first day at University consisted of being given a timetable, a map of the site, and being introduced to all the new people you'll be working with. There was a partially deaf boy called Ben, who was also studying Psychology, and was in my class. I almost immediately became friends with him. He knows sign language and told me he can teach me, he can talk, and can hear, but only when he wears his headset that enables him to hear perfectly through one ear, but not the other.

I think this was the first sign of things getting better for me and my family.