Feeling

Chapter 25 - Surprise

You see, a few days ago, something strange happened.

Moving to Canada was in fast action. Dad flew out to me with all my birth certificates and personal belongings, he would be staying in England, but me, I was off. Tamarra went to travel agents and dealers to get a good price on the house, she also went into shops and accounting departments to try and get me a job. As I never got a degree in Psychology like I wanted, I could only study basics. In college I did Maths A-Level, and Physics A-Level, so an accounting job would be easier to get.

Tamarra’s cousin Billy was a head accountant for a large car company, and he said he could find me a small job. Tamarra also offered to pay my electricity and heating bills until I had settled and got enough money. This was a huge step, a massive step. Not only was I moving house, I was moving country. A change in lifestyle. It horrified me, but my excitement for a fresh start masked that until the papers went through, and I was officially a Canadian resident.

My first day in my new house consisted of unpacking and moving stuff around. I didn’t have enough stuff to fill all the rooms. The other bedroom was used to store stuff I wanted but didn’t have a place yet. Around 3 O’clock Tamarra popped in with a kettle and a box of tea bags. She told me she had never had tea before, I put the kettle in the kitchen and she sat down in the living room.

“Wow, I remember this house so well” She said looking at the floors and the walls. “Nothing has changed, nothing at all.”

“That’s so strange.” I said to her, pulling myself up beside her, with the tray of tea’s on my lap. She took it one from me and then placed the tray on the arm of the chair she was on. “How is it?” I asked her as she took a sip.

“Good” She replied. “mm yeah, I like this”

I smiled at her and we drank our tea. This same routine happened right up to a few days ago. She text me saying she couldn’t come over because Marilyn was sick. I’d now been in Canada from 4 Months, and nothing had changed, nothing had happened, every morning I went out round the block, then to the beach for lunch, then Tamarra came round for some tea, and in the evenings I watched Tv and went on the internet to skype Dad. Then the change, but no problem, I’ll go into the town for a while I thought.

I got on a bus and went to the town. The same touristy town I went to when I first got there. I went into one of the super markets and picked up some pizza and food, so I could invite Marilyn over when she was better. There was a sign saying ‘Help Wanted’ so I asked the man at the counter what for.

“We lost one of our top employee’s, they’ve moved north so can’t work here” the man said, trailing off slightly. “We need help with our accounts, I would do them but we have so little amount of employee’s I hardly have the time”

“I studied A-Level maths, I could do it”

“Are you sure missy? Long hours it could be? Hard work?”

Of course I could do a simple task of sorting out wages for people and working out stock numbers. Maths is something I enjoy, and love. I took the job and he didn’t ask any questions, I’d need to go back the following morning to start. Thrilled that I finally had a job I went to the tourist shops to look for a gift to send dad.

I looked at the Canada flags, and magnets and keyrings, nothing jumped out to me. Until I saw a postcard. The postcard had ‘Successful Canadian’ written on the front, with a picture of a business man standing in front of the flag. Brilliant. I’d write dad a post card.

I bought the postcard and made my way out of the shop. I looked for a Café so I could get some tea. I rather fancied it by this time. I saw someone standing by a café menu just down the road and made my way towards them. As I got closer I started to recognise them.

The short slim figure, the dark shine hair, the soft skin, and casual clothes, the bag he carried. Richard. How had he followed me here? Why? And after so long? Could it be a fate or coincidence that at this very moment me and him were by the same shop, in the same town, of the same state, of Canada. I was confused, rushed, scared, I hid in one of the shops, and waited for him to leave the café, he began walking in my direction. This was much worse than I thought. If I come out of the shop now he’ll know I saw him. Oh god.

I pulled out of the shop and started going in the direction he was walking, I heard him shout for me.

“Hey, didn’t know this is where you were, where have you been? I thought you’d only be gone a couple months!”

He seemed so happy to see me, so overjoyed, I hated it.

“I live here”

“Really? Wow!” his enthusiasm frightened me but I couldn’t walk away from him.

“How have you been then?” I asked, trying not to look at him as all my horrible feelings that I left behind got pushed fiercely back into my heart.

“Really good, oh it’s so good to see you!” He leant in and hugged me, my heart struck, I hugged him back, tightly, never wanting to let go.

“It’s good to see you too, would you like to come to mine for some tea?” My hate for him disappeared as soon as we hugged, he smiled and nodded and followed me to the bus stop, every now and again twiddling my hair or squeezing my neck.

We got back to my house and we went inside. I made myself a tea and got him a glass of water as he was too hot.

“How do you stand the heat?” he said.

“Just used to it now” I smiled and put my chair opposite him. He sat down where Tamarra sat and we gazed into eachothers eyes just smiling. I realised what was happening. I was loving him and he was smiling at me thinking “Good friend”. I wasn’t going to carry on.

“So how’s Christina?” I asked, shifting my chair so I wasn’t directly facing him.

“Good, I guess, we aren’t together still so”

“Oh right. Sorry” I said to him. “You know what you said to me a while ago? About being too good friends…”

“I’m not gonna go out with you” his words were cold and bare. He was blank and his smile had washed-out.

He looked at my teary eyes and put his hand to my cheek. “Don’t cry, please” he whispered, as the tears started to roll down my skin. He leant in and pressed his forehead against mine. I looked at him, his eyes were shut, and he was blurred from my tears, I saw him open his eyes and pull away slightly. Then I felt him kiss me.

I didn’t kiss him back, I couldn’t let myself. I was too upset to put any thought into it, I retreated from him, wheeling myself away so even his hand could no longer reach me. I nearly screamed at him.

“You can’t say that, and then kiss me. You can’t. It doesn’t work like that Richard for god’s sake. How many times do you have to hurt me like this. Why don’t I get a chance? Am I not good enough for you?”

He looked at me, shocked and sad, he stood up and mumbled under his breath “I should go” I shouted at him

“Maybe you should then!”

He walked out the door and slammed it loudly behind him, with an empty heart the tears poured from my eyes, and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach.

**Thank you for all the reads, next chapter should be up soon, if you have an idea for the story that YOU think will be good leave it in the comments, and I'll put it in somewhere. Thanks everyone :)**