sunflowers || jhope x sinb

9 - Heart Broken, but in Real Life too.

I hear a shuffle coming from the living room, followed by a yawn. "Where am I?"

I walk into the room, and I spot a very confused Jhope. "My house," I answer, giving him some hangover soup.

"What....." he rubs his eyes. "happened last night?"

"I'm guessing you went to a club and drank alcohol. A lot of it." I scoop some of the soup into his mouth. "Eunha was with you, but she's fine."

His eyes widened, "Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t...." he kept on mumbling.

"Calm down, its fine," I rub his back.

"How is this fine?! I drank ALCOHOL and I'M FREAKING UNDERAGE!" He throws his arms in the air, yelling. "This CANNOT be HAPPENING! Pinch me." He moves his arm in front of my face.

Instead of pinching him, I grab his arm and force him to sit down. "Hope. Look on the bright side. It was just a mistake, and you can forget about it. You can move on with your life, leaving this in the past."

He buries his head in his hands, "I appreciate your effort trying to make this situation a positive thing, but....." he groans. "It's not just this. It's something else that I don't know what to do."

"Is this about Eunha?"

He shakes his head, "It's not what you think it is. Sinb, I know you always think you're right and know everything there is, but something you got to put yourself in others people's shoes."

I pout, "I am not like that. You're just jealous that I'm successful and that I'm dating Jungkook."

He lets out a slight laugh, "Partially correct. I'll give you that."

I give him an I told you so look. "Do you think you know me?" he throws out a random question at me.

"Uh....yeah? I guess. I literally spent the last three months with you so unless you're hiding something. I have a pretty good idea of you."

"You're cute," He smiles and stands up. Without saying anything else, he leaves.

---

At first glance, you probably will think she was a monster. Dark circles were darker than ever, her bloodshot eyes caught your eye as soon as you saw her, and overall, you'll feel tired just by looking at her no matter how long you slept last night. Eunha was in terrible condition.

"Glad you're here," she lies down on her bed, closing her eyes as soon as her back hit the soft mattress.

"I'm glad that you're fine. Last night was rough, wasn't it?" Jhope asked her.

She gives a slight nod. "I don't know what has gotten into me. It feels like I can't control my body no matter how hard I try. It's like I'm a different person, but in a bad way."

He scans her room. Polaroids of Jungkook and her decorated the empty walls. A cute bunny with a Jungkook t-shirt sat in the corner of her room. Seems like she still hasn't gotten over him. Jhope understands what she's going through. He doesn't judge her neediness and love she needs, acting like it's the only thing that'll make her life better. He sits there and empathizes the emotions because his heart hurts too. Because of a girl he never knew would have such a substantial impact on him.

"You'll get through it," he says. Eunha gets up and leans on his shoulder, wiping her eyes. It isn't soon after that her tears start to flow, wetting everything they fall on.

When Jhope leaves her house, he feels his heart burn. He thought he was just making this up, but the longer he walked, it felt as if it was on fire. He clutched his chest, taking deep breaths. He slowed down his pace and ultimately, sat on the concrete.

What is wrong with me? Why am I losing control over myself just because of a girl? Jhope didn't know what to do anymore.

Life sucks, but that's what it is. Life is a cycle of feeling happy and sad. But sometimes, it becomes unbalanced. And that's when the sad part takes over, leaving you with a miserable feeling.

Not only was he feeling like a useless piece of trash, but he was also heartbroken. But only this time, his heart was actually broken.

---

His heart ached all night. Regardless of all the pain medications, his heart still felt the same. The discomfort and pain that was inside of him made him throw up. He clenched his chest, right over his heart, easing the pain a little. But he also gripped his heart, feeling like he was grasping his life. If he let go, he would go too. To a place where only people with their lives taken away went.

---

"Let's skip school," Jungkook whispered in my ear before the bell rang.

"What?"

"School is a waste of time. Instead, we could be on an adventure, risking our lives. Much more exciting than being stuck in jail for 7 hours."

I never skipped school in my entire life or was planning too. I was afraid if I said no, he would break up with me. I was desperate for love. Or to be loved. All I needed was someone. I was afraid of being alone.

"Uh, I guess we could.." I hesitated. "Where too?"

"I know a place. It's at my friend's house. He doesn't go to this school, but he's throwing a party. It'll be fun."

I think his definition of fun is different than mine.

---

He waited a little longer until he couldn't bear the knife jabbing pain any longer. He drove to the hospital for an answer.

Jhope saw people of all different ages sitting on the couch, waiting to go in or for news. Some were crying, some were anxious, some were scared. Nobody was happy. If you go to a hospital, most likely it is for a miserable reason because something inside of you is broken.

He filled out a form and sat next to a child, a boy that was 8 or 9 years old. His smile is what he noticed first. He could tell he was in pain, but he didn't show it a lot. Instead, he smiled his way through, indicating that he was "fine." Jhope wanted to hug the child, telling him everything will be okay. But he couldn't tell lies. And he wouldn't lie.

Once it was his turn, he sat across a doctor in one of the rooms. It was a young man, maybe a little older than him, but he could see that he was miserable. Telling patients something was wrong with them and that they were living with a disease every day was a sad thing that he had to do. Nobody liked giving sad news or receiving it. But it is part of life.

"So..." The doctor scanned the sheet in front of him. "Hoseok, right?" Jhope rarely hears his real name. When he was younger, he got bullied and made fun of because his name sounded like Hoe-suck. That was when he gave himself a nickname, Jhope. He hoped for a better future, but it seems like it still hasn't arrived yet.

Jhope nods. "Tell me about your heart. When did the pain first start?"

"It started yesterday after I drank and smoked..." He looks down shamefully. "I thought it was something that would disappear the next day, but it hasn't."

"Hmm.... and you say you feel a sharp jabbing feeling?" The doctor asks.

"Yes, but it feels like it has gotten worse."

"Okay then, I'm going to meet up with the cardiovascular specialist for a minute. I have a feeling that this is something serious. Just relax." The doctor shuts the door behind him.

The only thing Jhope could do was wait and accept the terrible news that was waiting for him.

•••

Don't procrastinate and do your homework or else Yoongi is gonna produce pied piper part 2 ;) (I should probably do this but I get too distracted ^^)