Nothing, A Reylo Fanfic [On Hold]

Prologue: Rey

REY:

I see Finn with Rose and Poe all the time. I wonder if he's forgotten about everything we went through together. I heard Rose's sister, Paige, died in some sort of bomb attack that Poe arranged. The fact that she's so friendly with the guy that is pretty much responsible for her sister's death is a little odd. Then again, anyone who has spent five minutes with Poe will most likely be pretty friendly with him...I wish I spent more time with Finn and Poe but they are always with Rose. For some reason, I don't like Rose very much. Sure she's sweet and nice but being sweet and nice is normally a cover up for your true feelings.

True feelings are almost never sweet and nice.

True feelings are full of raw, ugly, hideous pain.

True feelings aren't meant to be hidden, yet I do it all the time. Guarding my emotions like secrets. And some sense, they are secrets. My secrets.

Sometimes I wish I had someone I could share them with...but there's no one. For a little bit, I thought that there was a person who understood me. Who I understood too...but he's long gone.

I closed the door in his face and didn't even look out the window. I couldn't bear to see his expression. Probably one of rage and betrayal. Not that I betrayed him, he betrayed me...but why do I feel so guilty?

Why?

"WHY??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!????!!" , I scream in confusion. Sinking to my knees, I cradle my head in my shaking hands. What could I possibly be guilty of? He chose to stay where he was. He chose not to come with me...or was it me? Did I not choose to stay with him?

Is this really my doing?

I'm not even sure anymore...