Bloodshot

attention

Written on December 11, 2017 at 8:37 p.m.

i can't say how i really feel
i am told that saying that i feel alone is attention seeking,
i am told that if i tell someone i just want to be held, i'm just asking for attention.
i can't tell them what i see
i can't tell them i see love radiating off of the bodies of those around me,
i can't tell them the way they look at each other makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
i can't tell them i wish i had someone that made me feel that way.
because everything is about attention.
everything is about being able to provide for yourself and
"you don't need a man to give you meaning."
no.
i don't.
but me wanting someone to wake up to in the mornings,
me wanting someone to feel safe with,
that is not the same thing.
i am not attention seeking.
i am not a person who will throw everything away for one person who might love me.
i am the person who hopes for the person that will love me until we die.
i am the person who hopes for the person that won't think of me as
attention seeking

//

i am back! i needed a while to collect my thoughts and i am finally able to get back to writing poetry.