N E V E R • XXXTentacion/Jahseh Onfroy

N E V E R•Part 13

    I sent Willow home after she stayed over for a couple of hours. I hope she wasn't getting attached. That was just gonna end badly for her.

    My mom always sat on that damn couch... Dont get me wrong now. I love my mom, i love her with everything but ever since the charges were filed against me shes been this way.

    At first she was working hard to get the proper legal representation i deserved and did what she could as a mother but over time that faded.

    And sure, i have money and all of that but why spend it on some big fancy place and shit when i already feel alone? Getting a bigger place isnt gonna change that.

    The only reason i was still here anyways is because of my fans and i dont wanna let them down. I refuse to let them down honestly. I have another fight set up at the club in about a week. Anything to make sure that situation stays on the down low, ya know? I'd take a bullet for my bros so getting a few scratches here and there wont hurt.

    I couldn't stop thinking about what Geneva had said. This bitch... I cant believe that after everything i still let her in my bed-- into my heart. I fucking hate that i love her... I hate it so fucking much... Especially because now there was Willow, and i dont know hos i feel about Willow yet honestly...

    Sure, shes a bit clingy and attached but shes been a huge support towards me in such a short period of time. Shes beautitul and i can tell shes been through some shit.

   I should shut my mind off now. If i dont that shit is gonna keep talking day and night and make me paranoid as fuck and thats not something im trying to experience. Not tonight at least.

    Maybe i should go out with my bros. Call Ski and Coolie. Maybe go out to a party again. Just have something to do to distract myself from all this stressful shit because aint nobody got time to be worrying about a manipulative bitch who isnt worrying about anyone else but herself, a clingy girl, or a below average mom. I need to do me and only me.

    You know what? I shouldn't even call them. I should go out on my own and do my own thing for once. Fuck everyone else.

    I slipped on my thrasher hoodie and a pair of black skinny jeans. My hair was already tied up obviously. I grabbed my phone, keys and wallet and wapked out my room and out the house without letting my mom know where i was going. Its not like she'd really care anyways.

     I walked around aimlessly with only one place in mind. A place i knew never got boring and was open all night long.

     As i walked a few locals acknowledged me, giving me fistbumps and shit. Fucking fake shits. I kept my mind focused and calm and i kept making my way.

     After walking for about 20 minutes i made it. The lit up club gave me comfort in a way. The lights flashing and shit.. It was calming...

     This was a place to drink away the pain and shit. To forget about shit for one night and have fun. Fuck everyone else for once i was thinking of myself. Something i rarely ever did because everyone is always relying on me somehow. I carry the weight of my fans, my friends, my family, i carry the weight of myself... A nigga doesnt have to apologise for losing himself for one night.

     I skipped the line, bumped the bouncer and made my way in. This night was gonna go my way.

_________

Short chapter but heres a long awaited update 💕 please excuse any typos i didnt proof read 💕 im sorryif this is borong im trying to make this story interesting but not have it move too fast at the same time.