N E V E R • XXXTentacion/Jahseh Onfroy

N E V E R•Part 20

     I laid there in his arms, my head on his bare chest. I traced the tattoo on his chest with my fingertips, admiring his mothers name.

     A big smile spread across my face. I haven't even thought about ever doing this again after what happened to me after the party that night.

     I shivered at the thought. Im guessing for most victims the thought of something sexual even if its consentual was not something to look forward to. For some reason... It didn't feel that way with Jahseh.

     I was comfortable. I felt safe. Like hes someone i could always rely on. His soft breaths echoed the room as i watched beads of sweat travel down his forehead.

     His forehead was creased and his eyebrows furrowed. As if no matter what he couldn't let in a smile. He was distraught. Even in his sleep.

     I frowned at that. Hes so secretive. Never wanting to let anyone in and let them know what hes thinking. I just wanna get to know him better than ive ever known him. Despite everything thats happened hes still keep soemthing from me i just know it...

     I sighed and decided to stop thinking and to just enjoy the moment. It wasn't going to last forever.

     I shut my eyes and took a deep breath in and squeezed jahseh trying to get closer to him than before. Im going to enjoy this moment.

__________

     A few hours had passed since we'd been holed up inside that motel room. We decided to go out into the city or something.

     We hopped in the rental car and used google maps. We decided to go to a night club and enjoy ourselves for the night. I mean we were both under the age of 21 but of course theres always something called a fake ID.

     I may not have been a trouble maker but i have my fair share of broken rules and have fun like any other teenager.

    There was a long line at the club but of course pending Jahseh's sratus we were able to get in quickly after a few fans asked for a photo.

    I could feel some anxiety boiling up within me, nervous they would notice me and word would get around and eventually get to my father.

    Everything was better when we were in our own personal bubble at the motel. Or better yet befire everything happened. My palms began to sweat and my heart began to race.

    It was like my vision had become blurry andi couldn't move. For a good minute i stood there. Frozen. Suddenly i felt Jahseh's touch on my arm and i began to calm down. "You alright?" He asked, a look of concern plastered on his face.

    I gulped, nodding. I forced a smile and looked into his eyes. "Im fine. Now lets go have some fun!" I squealed as we entered the club.

    The music was loud and flashing lights were everywhere. People grinded against eachother and some made out in dark corners.

    I guess its true when they said Atlanta was the peak of STD's. I chuckled at that thought and made my way onto the dance floor dragging Jahseh along with me.

    He rolled his eyes and let a sheepish smile play on his face. We danced together and laughed, enjoying each and every moment we shared. This is the happiest ive been in a while. Genuinely. I let the music move through me and the beat guide my movement. I brought myselfclose to Jahseh and smiled as i pushed my body against his.

    He smiled then laughed. "Im gonna go get us some drinks!" I yelled to him over the music. He smiled and nodded. "Ill be here!" He replied.

    I made my way over to the bar all giddy and smiling. "Can i have 2 shots of tequila please?!" I ordered.

    "ID please." The bartender requested as i slid over to him my fake one.

    He looked at it for a second before handing me the two shots and giving it back to me.

    "Thanks!" I said and grabbed the two shots and made my way back onto the dance floor where Jahseh previously was. Only... He wasn't there anymore.

    "Huh? Where could he be?" I whispered to myself. I let myself scan the room trying to pinpoint his head of colorful hair. It was so dark and crowded in here too which made my objective even harder.

    I walked around the club for about 5 minutes until my eyes finally landed on him. He was talking to some girl.. Laughing. He had a big grin on his face. I frowned.

    She was beautiful. Dark long hair, pale skin, no makeup on, she had a tight dress on but it wasnt too long nor was it too short. She seemed... Graceful.

    A pang of jealousy could be felt in my chest. I stared at them for a moment. Suddenly she leaned in and kissed him. And he kissed... Back...?

   I could feel tears start to well up in my eyes. How could he do this to me? After what happened earlier today? After what we shared? I could feel so much hurt and anher boiling up inside of me--

   I took the two very well needed shots that i held in my hand and i ran out the club. To where? I dont know. Not to the motel, not back home just
.. I dont know.

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Excuse any grammar mistakes as i say at the end of every chaptee i dont proof read 😂😂

I'll try to update more often but we're nearly at the end of the book... :(
   
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