Devotion to Bloodshed

Transitioning

Okay, this is my downfall. Jealousy has always been my weakness, I tend to get angrier easily and that causes me to get all emotional. This is where the story spirals downwards. It was a normal school day, but the last time we talked, I said that I would hang out with my friends right? This takes place a day after the conversation. I walk into school and decide to go outside my first class and that's where my friends met. You don't know them yet do you? Okay, so there's Anthony, Bradley, Hannah and Allison. I had a little crush on Allison a few years ago but i'm over it. Allison has always been my best friend, we've known each other since Kindergarten, we've always been in the same school, we kind of plotted our lives around each other, if she was going to a certain school, I'll try my hardest to be with her, we'd kind of become dependant on each other, but i'm now also become dependant on Violet. Great. Perfect. But anyway, the usual scene greets me, Anthony (the one who normally tries to hit on everyone and fails pathetically) trying to pick up Allison. Bradley, sitting in the corner, reading a book. Like he always does and Allison running in for a hug. "Where the fuck have you been?!" Allison cries. Allison had always been a drama queen. "I think we all know where he's been, trying to get a girlfriend and failing miserably" Anthony blurts out "Yeah, like you're one to talk Anthony." The fatal flaw in Anthony is that he always tries to be a smart alec but forgets about his own problems. Anyway, he steps back and says "well, it's obvious, they're playing hard to get." Classic Anthony, always trying to play things off, I think that's why I love him. That's why I love all of my friends. You never truly know how meaningful friendship is until you loose it. That's what I did. I lost my friends. Forever.

Anyway, on a more interesting note, my friends and I were just chatting until I happened to hear something. I can do this thing where I can block out one conversation and listen to another, it's cool, but anyway, this was when my life went downhill, this is the start of when I lost Violet and my friends forever. I happened to eavesdrop on a conversation that was happening between a kid called Corey Phillips. I never knew Corey well, but he was nice to me. He was the typical popular kid: athletic, friends with almost everyone, cool, trendy. You know, that kind of person, but he was never mean to me and although I didn't know him well, we did share a conversation from time to time and we found each other funny. He also saved me from a fight a year ago, I was cornered by some dickheads and almost beaten up. If it wasn't for Corey who made them go away, then I would've had a black eye and a lot of shit with the year manager would've gone down. But what I heard made me change my opinion of him instantly. I heard him say these exact words. I remember them clearly, and I never will forget them. "Anyway, I'm planning on asking out Violet Haynes, she's so nice and hot as fuck, her tits are so big." I still hate him now, how dare he. If she heard what I heard, she would understand me. But at that moment, I felt a weird feeling, I can't describe it, it's too weird, even now I feel it, although it's now stronger than before. It was obvious I was angry or Jealous because my friends snapped me back into reality. "Hey Wesley? are you ok? you look a bit troubled." Allison inquired. Allison was always the first one to ask "are you ok?" or "how are you feeling?" It's just her human nature. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just got to get to class early." So I stormed off and asked my teacher if I could come into class early, him being the kind and gentle soul that he was agreed and I helped set up class, all the while observing and contemplating this confusing feeling. 

School was like it was normally, It was uneventful and boring. But the scene that happened at home was worse. My parents had died when I was 4 so I don't have a lot of memories now. I moved in with my aunt and uncle, but my aunt died recently so I live with my uncle. I love my uncle, his name is Trevor and he loves dirty and rude jokes, his nickname for me is Spider man because of how similar my past is to Peter Parker's. But he has work so I'm normally left alone in the house until 9 o'clock so I have to cook dinner for me and my uncle. My uncle is actually a chef at a restaurant called Forks n' spoons. He always criticises my food but it's funny. He also thinks I have a girlfriend that I bang everyday  when he's not home. If only Trevor, if only. So when I arrived home at 4:30 I didn't bother hanging up my jacket or putting down my bag and went up straight to my room and bawled my eyes out. I realise that Violet wouldn't resist a guy like Corey. Suddenly, like a dagger through my heart, the feeling struck, the one from earlier, only stronger, it made me angry, and vengeful... this feeling marks the start of my spiral downwards into anarchy... I knew I had to do something. I needed to do it quick. If I don't. I'll loose Violet forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever. I simply couldn't have that. Knowing that pig fucker, she'll get raped quicker than I can say "No! stop it!" The way he talked about her,  it's vulgar... we simply cannot have that now can we? Oh shit. The feeling is back.