Devotion to Bloodshed

The Dream

For as long as I can remember, I've always suffered from sleep paralysis, it's worse than it sounds, trust me. The feeling of not being able to do anything scares me and that's what's happening to me right now, I has brainstormed all night and any idea I came up with was either impossible, Involved bravery or just plain dumb. The thought of murder had crossed my mind but I never thought I would actually do it, it's just unthinkable, unimaginable, inconceivable, but yet I did it. Anyway I still hadn't come up with an idea to stop Corey from dating Violet. The silence was deafening but then was broken by the monotone ringing of my cellphone. It was three o'clock in the morning, who the fuck would call me at this time. Only one name came to mind and as I checked the phone, it was that person. I know this person so well but I still questioned why she decided to ring me up at 3 o'clock. "Hello Allison, are you aware of the time right now?" I said in a happy but sarcastic tone. "Shouldn't you be the one to know what time it is? I'm guessing you're worried about homework or your uncle is being noisy while masturbating" I cringe at the thought of that and I also felt concerned because how would she know about that "Dude, ew gross, i'm related to Trevor and I don't want to have nightmares, it's creepy how you know that." Allison, being the weird longtime friend laughs and says in a heavily exaggerated stalker voice "I know everything Wessy he...he...he" and on that note I say goodnight and hang up and then like a bullet crossing my brain I thought of an idea, I would scare him off, granted I had no idea how but that's what I would do.

School the next day was less than pleasant, let me tell you one thing, being greeted by the infamous dickhead squad isn't the best way to start a shitty day, but that's what happened, let me introduce Wyatt Reeds, Neil Davies and Katie Smith. These are the people who torture me on a daily basis, they whirl hurricanes of abuse, throw storms of punches and have an ego so high that I could jump off of it and free fall for two years before I hit the ground. After meandering my way past them, I arrive at the place where I knew Violet would be but before I could say hello, the hands of fate groped my shoulder and pulled me back (and by fate I mean Corey). "Hey, sorry kid, I need to talk to Violet for a second" demanded Corey. I had never seen Corey so aggressive, I knew that he was normally nice to me but if anyone got in the way of something he wanted to do, he would have no restraints and wouldn't hold back. "Uh, I was talking first so perhaps you could wait until I had finished?" I instantly regretted saying that as his grip on my shoulder tightened and firmed up a bit. "I don't recall you speaking Wes, I'm sorry but this is really important and I have to talk to Violet, you can talk after Wes" "Uh no, that's not happening Corey, wait your turn" I replied, trying to put on a forceful voice but failing miserably. "Why do you care so much? Do you have a crush on her or something!? Do you want to fuck her!?" he roared purposely, hoping she would hear it, and she did, and so did everyone in the corridor. He stopped gripping my shoulder and started pushing me back, this once nice person I knew was turning on me because I was going to talk to Violet first. "Woah, woah, woah, chill out boys, let's not stir some shit up" Violet intervened trying to stop this from evolving but to no avail. He pushed me over and I landed on Allison who was in the corner just observing, we tumbled over each other and Corey decided to laugh "Oh wow Wes, you can't keep your hands off of women, I know you liked them but I didn't know that much" This mortified me in front of my friends, the dickhead school all the others in my year and Violet, this mortification quickly turned into a rage and that feeling came back. "You shut your fucking mouth you prick!" I scream pushing Corey back, I was surprised at how much I pushed him back. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Come at me bitch let's see what happens, the best thing you can do to get those two girls to fuck you is to be a fucking man and stand up for yourself!" Corey responds violently. At this point I just lost all control and fucking rushed Corey, pinning him down onto the ground and punching him repeatedly, he tried to hurt me but It didn't work, it's like this wave of supernatural strength came over me and all outside conversations vanished and muffled to me, all I could think about at this point was hurting Corey. I wish I had payed attention to the outside conversations because It was comprised of Violet and Allison screaming "stop it Wes! You're hurting him! Please stop! It's okay, I don't care if that's true!" In the end Anthony came along and pulled me away, restraining me. After I had cooled down and Corey was on the ground lying, moaning in pain I said firmly "Do not talk about them in that way motherfucker" after that I walked away. I'm still proud of that and I don't know why.

I thought to myself "fuck it, i'm going home, I've had enough of this shit today" and I actually walked home. I stayed wrapped up in a blanket Allison knitted for me one time (she was actually surprisingly good at knitting, it was one of her side hobbies) and just got lost in a fantasy world where the fight made Violet attracted to me and we went out and we married etc etc. This was interrupted by a ringing of the doorbell, I essentially limped and slithered down the stairs to the door like a vampire awaking from his century long slumber. I opened the door and saw Allison and Violet. My heart stopped and Violet said "Hi Wes, can we come in?" while Allison rushed into my home and embraced me "Wes, are you ok? are you hurt? please tell me you're ok!" all while me trying to say "Yes, Im fine, im okay, you can let go now" we walk into the living room and talked about what happened. "I don't know what happened, it just came over me and I lost all control. I'm... sorry you had to see that, I'm never normally like that" I just looked down in shame, but, the way he acted, I don't think Violet would ever say yes to him so technically I succeeded? "I know, but he was being a dick, I think he deserved it...i'm sorry if this is a bit awkward" Violet replies "Is what he said true, do you like me?" I panicked and just sank into myself and I felt like I wouldn't mind dying. "Uhh Wes?" Violet asked "Oh! uh no! no!" I must admit, I fucked up because she looked down, disappointed. She started to choke up as she whimpered but then got a smug look on her face "oh? so you wouldn't fuck me if you had the chance?" I went into a full state of panic, alarms were going off everywhere in my mind, DEFCON 5. "Uh...well...only if you wanted it...uh. I mean like not to say that I want it to happen or anything uhhh." My mind had gone blank and Violet and Allison were both laughing their asses off. We sat on the living room couch for ages just talking and we even played some games, turns out that Violet loves Assassins Creed as much as I do! But the time flew by and when I heard the rattling of keys in a door lock, I knew it was too late, Trevor was off work early and when he entered the room he looked at me, Violet and Allison "I FUCKING KNEW YOU WERE BANGING THOSE GIRLS, TWO AT ONCE DAMN SON" I retracted into my little ball of shame and listened in horror as Allison and Violet bonded over humiliating me. Anyway the time came for the two girls to go home and as I escorted them out the door, all I could do was regret not saying "I love you" to Violet. "Violet! wait, ummm, I uhhh, I will see you tommorow?" I blurted out nervously and Violet (who loved to take the piss) replied with the cheeky comment "yes you will?" and I closed the door. I walked into the living room and saw Trevor sitting down with a serious face on. 

"So, I heard you got into a fight today, I used to fight, I have no problem with that, but it's with who you fought with. You don't know it but I don't actually own the restaurant, i'm just the chef and the manager just so happened to be the father of the boy you beat up, now my career is under threat because of what you've done. What do you have to say for yourself, because I will not back up my son if I find out the attack was unprovoked." My heart sank like it was in a puddle of quicksand, this fight had already stressed me out enough and now I know that my Uncle's career may be in jeopardy? This is fucked up. "Trevor, I did it because he talked about Violet and Allison in vulgar ways, he said some fucked up shit like how he wanted to fuck them and how big their tits were" He looked at me with a worried look on his face and he uttered "Look son, I know how it is to have someone you love being disrespected like that but you have to realise, it's not your choice to make if someone wants it to stop, I understand that it's the right thing to do to call him out but sometimes it's unneeded because it just creates more trouble. I turned from embarrassed to angry in a split second "So you're saying that they liked being talked about in that way?! that they gained pleasure from it?!" I screamed "No son, let me finish" Trevor tried to plead "No! i'm not letting some egotistical fuck sexualise my friends like that! Not then, not now, not ever, so I don't care if I get into more fights or get hurt, I will not let my friends get degraded like that, they deserve so much better after everything they've done for me. If that sick perv tries to pull anything on them, then i'll be fucking let loose!" I picked up my coat and stormed out of the house, it was getting dark but I didn't care. Now thinking about it, If I didn't go out that night, what happened next would've never happened.