Devotion to Bloodshed

The Month After

"Alright kid, let's get this straight, this was the murder Of Corey Phillips, am I correct?" I look down in shame, even when I shouldn't have because it wasn't my fault, I decide to express my thoughts "But I swear it wasn't my fault! It was an accident, it's not murder, it's manslaughter!" The interrogator takes off his glasses, cleans it with his shirt and puts them back over his eyes and sighs "Yes I know... but the reason you're in trouble for this is because you didn't bother telling the police or anyone and decided to keep it a secret, that's a very guilty and criminal thing to do and, if you are telling the truth, why did you decide to hide the body?" Shit... he's got me... I'm trying my best to lessen my sentence but it's probably going to stay as life in jail. A life not worth lived... A life locked up, A life... without love. I continue explaining my story.

It was a month after, Corey's body had been found in a bush the next morning, that's the only place I could come up with, it's not very good, but I guess it defines who I am, not very good at anything. I seriously can't come up with anything i'm good at, even cooking, which I practise everyday. It's so upsetting and I don't want to drop my shit all over my friends because I don't want them to get stuck in the enigma that is Wesley Blythe's mind. But anyway, people found out, the school had a brief down period which actually stopped the infamous dickhead squad from attacking me for a while which I guess is one upside to the whole situation and my bond became stronger with Violet so apart from the brutal and fatal murder, all in all a good period. But things had died down by now and school has returned to it's usual routine and I guess that everyone, Including Violet forgot all about Corey, everyone except for me. I could never forget what happened that night and I don't think I ever will because it haunts my dreams. Whenever I think of Corey's face, I think of what he could've been. These thoughts still haunt me. Anyway nothing really happened until a rainy day in September when I had probably one of the worst days of my life. I found out two things that filled me with dread and grief that day. The first thing was that Corey's Parents, Nicole and Ethan, decided to take action and started a court case. This was great, I knew that I would be speaking in court because of the fight I had with Corey so I didn't know how to hide my guilt in front of the jury. The second and by far the worst thing was that I found out that Violet had gotten herself a boyfriend.

I cannot tell you the amount of pain I felt when I heard, I was shocked, I was angry, but the strongest feeling was the feeling of being hopeless. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to reveal my secret so I faked being ill and took the day off. I guess I could've seen this coming. I knew that I wouldn't have ever been good enough for Violet because... well... look at me, i'm a walking, talking failure. Oh yeah, Trevor didn't loose his job and actually got a pay rise! But anyway, when I got home I talked to him about how I loved Violet and how she had gotten a boyfriend, he had been in the same situation as a child and he told me that the pain will pass, but I didn't think i would ever get over it. Her boyfriend's name was Peter Berkman. I barely knew the guy but when I talked to Violet about it, she said that she had been his friend since middle school and that they always talked to each other over the phone. I was distraught, I barely knew the guy, it seemed like they had been interested in each other for a long time and that they both knew this would happen. Whats even worse is that we drifted apart from each other during the following weeks, I had stopped talking to her on the phone, she started to sit with him and all of this felt like a hot dagger being plunged through my heart and into my soul.

One night I was walking home and I ran into Allison, we decided to go to a fast food diner that we knew of called Idaho's. I ordered fries for the table and I got a milkshake. I knew why she wanted me to come to Idaho's with me. We were eating our fries and joking about and she suddenly stopped, she looked down at the table and I saw the tears form a puddle on the table. "Hey Ally, what's wrong? Please tell me" I asked her curiously. She looked up at me and smiled "I'm wrong Wes, everything about me, I can't get over what you told me." I said before that I told Allison everything, that means about my crush on Violet. "What?" I reply in a confused but also calm tone "Wes, I love you so much, it burns, it leaves a hole in my heart, I can't get over how you love Violet... I breaks me, I want to be with you, but now I know that will never happen now..." She slams her fist on the table with quite some force and then grabs her handbag, slings it over her shoulder and says "I should be going now, please don't talk to me because it'll only hurt me more..." just before she leaves I jolt up from my seat and shout "I want to date you. I'm over Violet. I swear it. Please be my girlfriend..." An awkward silence ensues until she runs up to me and gives me a very passionate kiss, to be honest, It was very intense for my first kiss. She stopped kissing and moved her head down to my chest as we embraced. I honestly thought at the time I had gotten over Violet, but I hadn't and I has just signed my soul to the devil. I knew that there would be no way to date Violet without breaking Allison's heart, which made me wonder... how far am I willing to go for Violet, how much am I willing to sacrifice for a chance?