Limelight (Ruby Rose fan fic)

Eleven

I could barely sleep last night so my head aches like a bitch but I don't care about it. A little light is flickering on my phone letting me know that I have texts and missed calls, most likely from customers, friends, family and a journalist or two. I don't care either. It's been two days since Ruby doesn't talk to me and Liz keeps giving me one-word answers but working things out with them is not my main concern at the moment. What really worries me is what I have in front of me: a cup of tea, a sliced apple and two homemade cookies. I don't want to eat my breakfast but I know that, if I don't do it, I'll feel much worse: I've already started to feel some cramps and when things get bad I should have something in my stomach. I take a deep breath and I shove an apple slice into my mouth while two tears run down my cheeks.

After fifteen minutes of anguish, only a few people understand how hard it feels to eat when your stomach refuses to accept food, Liz finds me sitting down in front of my empty plate and with the track of my tears still on my face. She looks at me shocked and seems about to ask me what's happening but I can't hear her because I'm running back to my bedroom desperately. I open abruptly my bathroom door and then I sink to my knees, hurting them with the tiled floor. Only one second later I'm throwing up my breakfast while my stomach clenches with painful cramps. My doctor's not going to be happy about this, the risk of having a stomach ulcer due to stress is really high. Fuck! I was doing fine these past months and now here I am vomiting again. All the yoga in the world couldn't help me right now.

When my nausea calms down a bit I crawl slowly till I reach the sink, placing my hands on the marble edge I use it as a support to help me up, then I turn on the water leaning forward carefully to wash my face and rinse my mouth. Someone's hands brush the hair away from my forehead to make things easier: my mirror confirms me that it's Liz who's staring at me worried. Stepping back I sit down on the floor with great care, leaning my back against the bathtub I bend my knees and lean my forehead on top of them before whispering:

- I'm sorry you had to see that.

Liz sits down next to me awkwardly since her miniskirt and knee-high boots prevent her from sprawling her legs open. Her hand strokes my hair again.

- Are you all right?

- Yes, don't worry, I'm used to this – I try to lighten the mood but I don't have much success: I've felt a strong cramp and my friend has noticed it when I winced.

- When you told me that nerves and stress could upset your stomach I never imagined something like this. How long will it last?

- At least all morning I guess and then we'll see if I'm able to eat some light lunch. Don't worry about me, I'll try to drink a lot of water to avoid dehydration and also in order to have something inside my stomach that I can vomit. Otherwise, I'd suffer the same cramps and nausea but I'd feel the acid burning my oesophagus. When this is all over I'll be exhausted and my ribs will hurt due to the effort of vomiting. But that's all, you're not getting rid of me so easily.

- I'm so sorry Iselen. I shouldn't get mad at you, I've been so stupid – I try to stop her, she doesn't need to apologize to me but she keeps talking – No, listen to me. You're a smart girl and I just assumed that you could handle the situation. Everyone who has been living in this city for a while and is hired by celebrities knows how things work with the media and some tricks to avoid them. I don't know why I thought that you could deal with them, it's ridiculous: how would you do it if no one's explained to you how this works? We just got mad at you but we should have helped and supported you. I'm really sorry.

- Liz, it's okay, don't worry. It's my fault too, you know I tend to act before thinking. Everything will be fine.

I can't talk anymore because I'm feeling sick again; the little that remained of my breakfast leaves my body and I feel the acid burning in my throat. I need to drink something even if I know that it won't stay long in my stomach. I wash my face again and take two sips of water, I wince when I feel them landing and bouncing in my poor empty stomach. I sit down on the floor again and my boss phone starts ringing.