Memory 614 || paused

》05: room 614

°°°

"That morning, in the room 614, you talked to me for the first time. I had a feeling that the number was special which didn't mean it was good."

°°°

Baekhyun found himself lying on the bed, covered from feet to tummy with a thin blanket. His body ached and he couldn't move at all. A slight and weak sunlight of that Autumn's morning fell over his wrecked figure and he couldn't remember when he had slept tightly like that and when the sun found its place in the grayish sky that quickly.

It took him a while to remember what happened the night before. The night which smelled like wine and wet clothes, blood and salty tears, when the beautiful silence was cut by high hiccups and messed sniffs, soft cries and silent screams muffled by his own hand pressing over his mouth, biting it and leaving angry marks.

He wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole. What a shame.

He felt more exposed than ever. More exposed than he is when he does sinful moves in front of faceless persons, having nothing on himself but several hickies and a sweaty skin touching his.

His inner side is revealed. He tries hard to convince himself that Chanyeol doesn't care. Maybe, he doesn't. But Baekhyun isn't alone with his seizures anymore. Someone knows, even if it's just Park Chanyeol who has never shown a sign that he is aware of Baekhyun's existence.

Baekhyun is slightly worried.

At least, he knows Chanyeol won't hurt his pride by mentioning Baekhyun to anyone. Not even in that state.

But, again, what if he waited for a perfect chance to bring Baekhyun down in front of everyone?

No. Chanyeol doesn't hate Baekhyun. Baekhyun has had situations with haters and tall giant isn't someone like them. He tries to believe, but the thought of all the possibilities made him fist the blanket tightly and he was so oblivious about it.

Never ending headache was becoming stronger with every single try to understand.

Baekhyun gets more confused. He knows what is Chanyeol like. He observed him long enough to know. His moves, actions, reactions, words.
But, what he doesn't know is how Chanyeol would be acting with him if he considered Baekhyun worth enough to be payed attention to.

After the seizure, would Baekhyun be worth it?

He doesn't want it that way and never wanted it that way.

His head is filled with what ifs and he can't get rid of them not even when he concretates to the maximum. Baekhyun is complicated, but to him, Chanyeol is even more. Beside himself, Chanyeol was the most difficult puzzle he wants and needs to solve.

When he managed to sit up and uncover himself, he lowered his gaze down his body. Even though his vision was blurry, he could clearly see it. He didn't want to be welcomed with that kind of sight. At least, not like that not with him. Not in a situation like that.

His eyes watered but he didn't let any single tear out. He doesn't cry until it's really unbearable. He mustn't show any weakness again. He revealed so much of himself already and no matter how much he analyses everything in his mind, he can do nothing to squish himself in between the walls he had built. Chanyeol had already had a good peak inside and nothing could change that.