Memory 614 || paused

》12: broken and sad

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"I loved stars, scattered all over the place. You loved rain, that maddening waterfall. I wanted to remind myself that small pieces form a masterpiece, and you - you believed that something sad is the most creative."

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It was nothing more than a dark starry night reflecting onto his small eyes widely staring upwards. It was nothing more than a soft blanket hugging his shoulders and scent of autumn inwarding his senses. If it was, it wouldn't bring that amount of peace it possessed that way.

The day behind passed clearly. He could remember the smallest details and he didn't even have to try hard for it. He didn't even have to write down the date of that day, that turned out to be a little bit more special than others, in case to remember it. Twenty-seventh of November has always been somehow remembered by heart despite his will.

The day was beautiful.

Maybe Chanyeol was right. Maybe Baekhyun loved attention. Small things turned out to be the ones haunting him all day, turned to be the ones Baekhyun remembers with a slight smile dancing on his lips. It was the attention Chanyeol gave him and no matter how tiny the things seemed to be, both of them knew they actually were enormous. Was it because they both appreciated them that way and enjoyed them unconditionally, they weren't sure. But by every second that Baekhyun falls deeper in the thoughts of new-born memories, he admits himself that the attention he received that day was beautifully delightful.

Unlike any other.

Maybe Chanyeol was right, but not in the way he said it back then on the rainy day whose greyness was disturbed by the yellow umbrella. As Baekhyun slowly recalls the conversation and the secretive apology that came after, he realizes that, maybe, Chanyeol was that harsh on purpose.

They had it in common. Mean words and high voices to defend the supposedly high wall of pride they used to find pretty difficult to crush. But it changed once they, altogether with words, began speaking wordlessly.

There was plenty of time that passed since that day, but Baekhyun doesn't fail to think about it almost on a daily basis, as he touches the scar on his own palm with his gentle fingertips. He realizes they're pretty similar.

Still, he never knows what to think about the older exactly. He changes, his attitude changes in a matter of seconds and pointing at what was the truthful one was a deal for someone as mysterious as him, and Baekhyun, although he was secretive himself, couldn't understand nor read Chanyeol to the fullest.

But he let it be.

If Chanyeol had an intention to hurt him anyhow, Baekhyun was fine with it. There is a place for only one scar venerable Chanyeol to end Baekhyun whole. If he decides to take that place and probably ones already taken, Baekhyun didn't care.

Deep down, he loved other's flow which made him so anxious at times, yet so free. Which made him want to oppose him, but he steps aside instead and goes the way he is pulled. As much as he can't point out what's Chanyeol's personality like, he doesn't know if he is sure about his own. Alteration of cautious walks, quiet steps that obey and hurried runs to catch the older was complexed, someday tiring and at other times so right; but even if it was any worse, he knows he wouldn't choose any other option.

He doesn't remember feeling it before. It was strange, a little bit poisonous and always leaving plenty of space for surprises. Weird as it sounds, Baekhyun loved that new kind of thrill.

"You're spacing out again." A soft voice which was unusually like that night, made him stumble down the stairs leading to thoughts of a guy who built them despite all the protests of Baekhyun's.