I See You | あなたが見えています | 《 Joji 》

Part 18 - お母さん

After all those lovey dovey things, we talked about stuffs again. But this time, I just can't stop thinking about mom and my siblings. I don't have any jobs right now so how am I supposed to give them money? Sigh...

"Anna is something bothering you?" He asked gently.

"Well you see... My mom and I haven't spoken to each other for a while... She might be worrying right now." I said as I hugged my arms.

"Well why don't you call her?"

"I don't know what to say after getting fired and getting my eyes blind... and then getting a boyfriend...."

He wrapped his arms around me telling me it's going to be okay. I was convinced after telling me what my mom would feel if we don't talk to each other for more than a month.

"Can you please get my laptop babe? And make the call for me, thanks." I smiled after he got up. I honestly don't know what I would do.

I'm just so confused right now...

Getting fired, losing my sight, and now getting a boyfriend...

Will mom get mad at me?

Again..?

"How many times do I have to tell you to focus on your studies first?! I swear you easily trust others.  And now you're hurting yourself over some dumb guy!"

That was the first time I had a relationship. I thought it would last forever but

Of course he would end up playing with my feelings.

My grades also went low at that time

I really put every single effort whenever I love someone.

But unfortunately, humans think and expect they will always win in a game of love.

When in the end,

They'll just end up hurting themselves.

But its good to be human too.

"I'm so sorry mom... I didn't want any of these to happen... maybe I was just too naive about things... Or maybe I was just blinded... I don't know mom... I'm confused."

She hugged me tightly, making her daughter to feel safe and better. At first, my mom would shout at me saying I'm dumb and I'm not thinking straight. But in the end, she just worries. She just cared for her only daughter.

And after that, I never loved anyone. I was terrified of loving someone again. Obviously, because I don't want my efforts to go to waste again. Even if it was just some dumb boy, or heartbreak,

I became so different after that.

But I lied to myself.

"You promised me! You promised! You would focus on your studies more! But look at you, you're so stupid! Why do you keep on falling for someone you just met?! You dumb bitch!"

At that time, it was so hard for mom when our dad died.

It was harder for my siblings when they were still young.

Maybe she was at that highest point when she said that...

Mom was never like that her whole entire life.

Mom is not like that today, is she?

I'm helping her now

I'm working for our family.