First Bite

Water Over Wine

When the pizza arrived, Santana slid quietly to the door and accepted it with a calm smile. She had energy to smile now. She poured herself a glass of blood and heated it before tiptoeing back over to Brittany, kissing her on the cheek. When she didn't wake up, Santana closed her eyes and used their bond to urge Brittany awake. Brittany opened her eyes slowly, eyes drifting around the ceiling until she met Santana's eyes. Then her lips spread in a smile like sunrise, making the room warmer and Santana calmer. Santana smiled down at her, brushing hair out of her face. It was relieving to see Brittany in a place of peace. She held her gaze until she felt her stomach pinch with Brittany's hunger.

Santana opened the box and held a slice of pizza to Brittany's lips.

"Eat, sweetheart," Santana said. "You need to eat. I can feel..." She stopped, unsure how to explain what she felt. She felt the pinching in her stomach, but she also felt the fatigue in her limbs and the dizziness that came with hunger. She felt the longing and the weariness. She knew that no matter how much blood she drank, she would be hungry until Brittany was full.

Brittany opened her mouth and Santana slid the pizza over her lips. Brittany bit down lazily, not quite slicing through the cheese and letting a few gooey strands fall onto her chin. She giggled and lifted a pale hand to wipe them away. All Santana could think of was how good the cheese smelled and how delicious it looked. Without thinking, she bent down and licked some of the cheese and pizza grease off Brittany's chin. It was a playful yet nurturing lick, and her fangs stayed tucked in as she grinned at Brittany and then licked again. Brittany giggled and opened her mouth for another bite, which Santana fed her. Whenever cheese fell on Brittany's chin, Santana licked it up.

As the food slid into Brittany's stomach and her strength grew, Santana felt like the lights around her house were getting brighter and she could see with more clarity. It felt good to feed Brittany after watching her starve. She liked taking care of Brittany. In a way, it was like taking care of herself. The girl lying on her couch eating pizza and grinning for no reason was soothing her without effort, making her feel okay for the first time in days. Could it really be the same girl she'd rejected and yelled at and spurned for a week?

The more lively Brittany became, the more alarmed Santana grew. What had she been thinking? Refusing Brittany's blood, not thanking her for the care she had shown, rejecting her company? It was horrifying to realize that she'd become as cold and detached as Quinn. She knew vampires were ruthless, but she had never been so cruel to Brittany. As she remembered things she'd said and done, she started to sink, like an old balloon slowly leaking and floating to the floor before crumpling.

As she sank, Brittany's frown followed her.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asked, growing concerned. "Why are you getting heavy again?"

Santana felt guilty for dragging Brittany down with her. "Just thinking..." she hedged.

"About?"

Santana remembered refusing Brittany's blood, remembered the cold stares she'd given Brittany when she was in tears. The memory of her heartless actions made her cringe, and her eyes started to sting with shameful tears.

"About how horrible I was to you."

Brittany pouted, sad that Santana was getting upset again so soon.

"What I did was wrong, Santana," Brittany murmured. "You had a right to be mad at me."

Santana gave a dismissive eyeroll and sniffled. "But I acted like I didn't love you anymore." The more Santana thought about it and remembered the fury bubbling inside her as she willed shame and suffering onto the girl she loved, the worse she felt. She started crying harder. "I don't ever want to be like that again."

She sniffled for a few moments and Brittany reached up, dabbing at her tears with the edge of the blanket Santana had covered her with. "It wasn't your fault," she said.

"Of course it's my fault, Brittany," Santana argued.

"No," Brittany hummed, eyes glistening with sympathetic tears. "Our bond is really confusing."

Santana shuddered and nodded, closing her eyes to try to get her tears under control.

Brittany continued, her voice steady and soothing as she sat up and put her arm around Santana. "I could feel your anger, and you could feel my shame and guilt, and all our feelings snowballed into something bigger than either of us could handle. Neither of us were our usual selves because we were overwhelmed."

Santana thought for a moment before nodding. What Brittany said made sense.

"It's like, you can only download a certain number of songs at once and the rest have to wait. We were downloading the entire Beatles catalog equivalent of feelings at the same time and then they all started playing and we kind of lost it."

Santana sniffled, adoring Brittany for her analogy.

"Magical Mystery Tour is enough to do that on its own..." Santana said, trying to lighten the mood with a reference to Brittany's favorite Beatles song.

Brittany gave her a sympathetic chuckle. "Yeah. Maybe what we learned from this is - well, first, obviously, for me not to lie to you. But we need to be careful around each other when we're emotional. Everything gets magnified. Which is great if we're feeling happy or frisky or something. But if it's a less comfortable feeling, then it gets tricky."

Santana looked at Brittany as she processed Brittany's hypothesis.

"You think I wouldn't have gotten so mad if you hadn't come over right away?"

"I know you wouldn't have," Brittany said, rubbing Santana's arm. "You wouldn't be like that by choice. It was like a car with no breaks. A very bad magical mystery tour."

Santana took a deep breath to steady herself, then took Brittany's hand in her own. "I'm glad we were able to jump out before we crashed."

"Me too, sweetheart."

There was a moment of quiet as Santana felt herself float back up to the feeling of content she usually felt sitting next to Brittany.

But then she wondered: how had they manage to stop the collision course?

It had to be Quinn.

"How did you get Quinn to help us?" Santana wondered.

Brittany gave a casual shrug. "I just asked her."

Santana frowned in disbelief. "Like, called her up and asked her to glamour you so we could get back together?"

"Pretty much."

Santana was even more stumped. Quinn never did favors like that.

"Did she ask you anything about your family?"

"No."

"Did she ask for payment or blood or anything?"

"Nope."

Now Santana was utterly perplexed.

"But she never does things like that..." She frowned. She was concerned that they were cornered by Quinn in some way that was yet to be revealed.

"Don't worry about Quinn, sweetheart," she cooed. "Like I said when she glamoured me, I really think she's good. You just have to let yourself see it."

Santana resisted for a moment, but then decided it was easier to consider Brittany's perspective than to try to sort out the mysteriousness of Quinn.

"Sweetie," Brittany said, cautious as she put her hand on Santana's knee. "Did you notice something tonight?"

"About Quinn?"

"No," Brittany hushed. "About you."

Santana shook her head. "That I've been really emotional?"

Brittany shook her head. "You ate a little bit of cheese and you didn't get sick." She lifted a steady hand to Santana's face, wiping at a tear with two fingers. She held it up, clear and shiny in the light. "And you're crying water instead of blood."