Heathers one shots.

The Me I Wanna Be

Based off a thing my friend scent me. mentions of attempted murder.

You know how some people just have those special skills. Like predicting the lotto numbers or knowing what the weather forecast was going to be like for the day despite not reading the news. Well Heather Chandler had one of those skills. It was called avoiding death. Heather wasn't aware she had this skill, hell she didn't even know that the death was supposed to be on purpose. She would just do the slightest thing and escape a painful death.

September 23rd. Jason Dean and Veronica Sawyer made their way into Heather's home, little did Veronica and Heather know that JD was going in, just to kill Heather. He poured the draino in the mug and tried to convince his 'girlfriend' to go along with his plan but Veronica just simply refused, mainly cause the brunette had massive crush on the demon queen and refused to even think of a world without the blonde. The two teens walked into the room, Veronica was holding the cup which was a prairie oyster with a Flem globber. A simple and childish revenge but it was good enough for Ronnie.

"Morning Heather." The smaller girl spoke up to the partly asleep blonde. Heather woke up with a groan and looked at the two teenagers. She didn't mind Veronica, actually quiet the opposite. What she did, yelling at Veronica in front of everyone was just an act. In all reality Chandler had a huge crush on her, but would never ever tell anyone. "Ronica." She smiled slightly. " And Jessie James." Her smile automatically turned into a frown. Jason Dean gave her the creeps, she didn't even have to talk to him and she was disgusted and slightly afraid by him. " Well come on. Get to it. Beg." Heather snapped, if JD wasn't there maybe she would have been nicer, but like everything. He ruined it. "Um, alright." Veronica started off, she wasn't sure if Heather was kidding or not about begging. " I think, we both said a lot of things we didn't mean." She added, looking at the blonde. God she thought Heather was perfect, she had no idea why she was even wasting her time with JD. "I would actually prefer you did this on your knees." Heather smirked, yeah she wanted Veronica on her knees and begging but she wanted that in a different context. "In front of your boy toy here." Both of the girls could agree. That's all JD was. A boy toy. Veronica just sighed and followed the blonde's commands. Jason had no ides why Veronica followed the blonde's orders but he was just was waiting for his sweet, sweet revenge. "Cute." Heather simply stated as she got off her bed and took the cup off of Veronica.

Jason couldn't help but smile wide.
Three.
Two.
One.
Nothing.

Heather took a sip and frowned. "Gross Ronnie, real gross." She said as she handed the cup back. She could totally taste the flem globber Jason was confused beyond relief. He put drain cleaner in there. She should be dead, Veronica should freed. "Okay out of my room, I'll call you later Veronica." The blonde commanded before getting back in to her bed. As the 'couple' walked back into the kitchen Jason saw something. A cup, sitting on the bench filled with blue liquid. Drain cleaner to be exact. He was still confused on how the hell Veronica manged to grab the right cup.

October 8th. Attempt number two. Veronica joined the Heathers again, she wasn't going to risk becoming a victim again. She and Chandler had grown closer. They went over to each others houses nearly every single day and were constantly giggling at the lunch table and Veronica was blowing off JD just to hang with the demon queen. This pissed Jason off, pissed him off enough to try and kill her again. JD study her behaviors, her routines and he noticed something that happened almost everyday. Heather Duke. Chandler would always be at her locker, get annoyed by Duke and then slam her locker shut. So one day, Heather's locker decided to become lose and try to kill her.

Lunch finally arrived and Heather was putting her stuff away and JD was close by watching her. Waiting. But one small problem with his plan. Duke wasn't at school. Oh well, maybe McNamara would piss her off. He waited and eventually a smile came onto his face. Freshman. He knew Heather hated them. "Um excuse me." The small boy said to Chandler as he walked in front of her. He was clearly nervous to be talking to a senior, let alone the most popular senior ever in Westerberg's history. "The fuck do you want?" Heather snapped. Heather was already having a bad day and talking to a freshman wasn't going to help. "Is, is this my locker?" He asked as he pointed to the one next to Heather's, the kid was clearly new and Heather clearly doesn't care. "Do you really think I know what your fucking locker looks like?" She snapped. Jason was getting excited. Soon Heather would be dead, the school would be happy and Veronica would be his. "I don't fucking know and I don't fucking care." She took a step back so the kid was the only one in front of her locker and slammed the door shut. She didn't even see the locker start to fall, but she just pushed the kid over.

As soon as the kid fell, so did the locker. Heather just looked at the fallen locker and then the kid. A small applause started in the hallway
which just grew bigger. They all throught she saved him and was a hero of sorts. "Thank you." The freshman smiled at Heather. Heather walked around the locker and helped the kid up. She was so taking all the credit for this. A few students came up to her and praised her for being a hero, hell even Veronica gave her a hug and thanked her.

October 22nd. Third and final attempt. It had been two weeks since the locker incident and ever since then, Heather Chandler had been praised as a hero. She had a article dedicated to her in the school paper and had a special assembly dedicated to her. Sure she wasn't exactly the demon queen now but she was still extremely popular, everyone said they wanted to be just like her, and she was extremely wanted. Especially by Veronica. The brunette had been following Heather around like a little love sick puppy. Rumor has it that Veronica and Heather sneak off and make out in the bathroom. This was JD's most hated rumor. Morally Veronica and JD were still a thing, they hung out and he tried to hold her hand but most importantly none of them said 'I'm breaking up with you.'

For some reason Westerberg high was doing some shitty bake sale. To raise funds for better classrooms or some shit. Whatever the Reason Jason was going to take advantage. He baked a bunch of brownies, and in cause she didn't like them he baked cookies as well and hid pills in them. That way, one bite and she was dead dead dead.

He set up the little stand and put an honesty box system up. That way he didn't have to worry about being caught. He found a spot and watched the line form. Of course America's hero Heather Chandler was allowed to go first. Perfect. Soon she would be dead and Veronica would be so upset she would come crying over to him. Yes it was perfect. Heather picked up a brownie and she had to admit. It looked kinda good, she was about to take a bite but a sneeze interrupted her plan. She dropped the sweet and them discovered something. "Holy shit!" She yelled, which gained everyone's attention. "Um, someone poisoned these!" She called out, which got the attention of the teachers and they all came rushing over. Jason couldn't believe what he was seeing. She avoided dying. Again. And was now getting praised for it. What the hell would it take to kill her?

A month passed and was filled with more fails at killing Heather Chandler. He tried putting bleach in her water, the bottle just spilt. He tried having a car crash into hers. She just swiftly drove out of the way. Everything he did, she would somehow avoid and it drove him mad. But he finally decided to just give up and just focus on Veronica and their quote un quote relationship.
He walked to the cafeteria and was heading towards his usual spot and that's when he saw it.  Heather's arm was around Veronica's shoulders. They were talking and staring into each others eyes.

And boom.

The kiss.

He wasn't even going to confront Veronica, he knew she was a lost cause. He would try to kill her but Chandler's luck had probably spread already.

It was safe to say, that Heather Chandler really was invincible.

Hey! I'm sorry that was bad. And I have no idea what that ending was. Well comment ships and what not.