a tragedy of some kind

i hate you. i hate you. i hate everything about you.

"You were no longer there. And yet, you chose to frequently appear - forcing me to feel your presence and remember you, when I was certain I had forgotten. And to tell you the truth, without you I'm lost and broken with no chance of being whole again." ~ Someone

I'm sitting in the window of our coffee

shop,

You remember it don't you.

The little red brick place downtown

next to the record store we always go

too.

Used to go too.

The one with the heavenly scent of

arabica coffee beans permeating the

air,

Pulsing with the perpetual strain of The

Stones.

You told me if I liked it then you did

too.

And I fucking loved it.

You remember,

I hope.

Well I have this theory.

Its about my favourite coffee,

the one that used to be yours.

I have come to the conclusion you take

your coffee the way of your heart.

Black.

I may have been heartless before,

but,

you brought about the beating in my

chest.

You always had one,

only,

It was foul, corrupt and deceitful.

Infinitely worse than my condition if

you ask me.

What other possible explanation could

there be for what you did.

You allowed your heart,

that to the best of your knowledge,

was honourably intentioned,

control your actions.

Its crooked emotions,

distorted your ideas of love,

I suppose I shouldn't fault you.

You were still learning,

but so was I.

And in the process I became collateral.

and here I thought,

that I was the fucked up one.

I don't even think you truly knew,

just how much you were hurting me.

I hate you.

So fucking much.

I hate that the line,

between love and hate,

is so blurry.

I hate that really I still love you.

more than you ever deserved to be

loved.

But,

I'm not in love with you.

Careful to note the distinction.

I wonder,

Just like my coffee,

If we were over before we even began.

Undoubtedly.

Or maybe she was the one with the

maleficent heart that corrupted you.

As she came between us,

you turned all your hate onto me,

I wonder,

what did I did to deserve this

treatment?

Nothing.

But it's over now.

So I suppose I'll never know.

I'm the only one left,

A lost soul,

corrupted by love.

You don't come here anymore.

The quiet is nice.

It drowns out the shouting in my head.

-Delilah