Down the Rabbit Hole: Alice in Shifterland

Chapter Three

Alice still wasn't sure where she was going, but she left the duchess' yard and followed a nearby path. Before long she ran into an oversized blue caterpillar smoking from a hookah while sitting atop a mushroom as tall as Alice's waist. The stem was gray but the cap was a bright yellow with red spots. Alice stopped short and said, "How do you do?"

The blue creature had a voice even deeper than the vanishing cat's which took Alice off guard considering he was about the size of the average Yorkie from back in her world. He wore nothing but a pair of thin-framed spectacles as he blew out his smoke in a ring. "Quite well and you?"
Alice reached behind her rubbing her well-spanked bottom. "To be honest I'm rather sore."

The caterpillar took another drag and nodded knowingly. "Visited the Duchess, did you?"

Alice nodded, her face flushing warmly. "Uh huh."

"Well, climb on," the caterpillar reached out one of his short arms or legs; Alice wasn't quite sure nor was she sure she wouldn't pull him down rather than him boast her. "I know what you're thinking. I'm much sturdier and stronger than I look."

Alice nodded and grabbed ahold, allowing him to help as she climbed up on the mushroom and sat next to him.

He handed her the hookah. "There's no pain a little of this can't help."

Alice sniffed, recognizing the smell of cannabis. She wasn't a big pot smoker, but she didn't dislike the herb the way she did harder drugs. "Will it help cure me of the cupcake calamity?"

"You ate some of the Prince's cupcake?" He tilted his blue head as he looked her over, his buggy eyes lingering on her breasts.

Alice nodded. "I ate an entire cupcake."

The caterpillar gave her a sideways glance. "Inhale deeply."

Alice pulled from the hookah, holding the smoke for as long as she could before exhaling. "I've seen some shit today."

The caterpillar smiled. "It might get worse before it gets better."

Alice groaned. "I hope not." She took another drag before handing the hookah back to the caterpillar. "Tell me. What's the Dark Prince like?"

He raised an eyebrow. "If you mean the Prince of Spades, he's a mysterious sort-professionally, he looks like he does little to nothing but is responsible for far more than most know. He personally provided my merchant's visa. On a personal level, he's always cavorting with that roguish white rabbit of his and does as he pleases without much worry as to consequences. His Aunt dotes on him."

"The Duchess?" Alice breathed in the smoke he exhaled.

"Well, I suppose her too but I meant the Queen of Hearts. She and the King have no children of their own so the Prince, the Queen's late sister's boy by the former Prince of Spades, is her heir."

"Oh, my!" Alice giggled as the weed played with her head. "Do they live on a bridge?"

The caterpillar eyed her with indignation. "Certainly not-most of the royals live in the castle."

"Do they drink much gin? I bet someone must be an absolute rummy!" She laughed, clapping her hands together at her silly card game references.

"No more toking for you." The caterpillar waved his hands.

Alice poked out her bottom lip and pouted. "Aw."

"I will tell you something good though." The caterpillar gave her a toothy grin.

While straightening her back and crossing her legs at the ankles, Alice made a fish face at him, giggling some more. "What's that?"

"After you slide your silly tookus down off this fungus, grab a small hunk from underneath each side and put one in each of the pockets on that apron straining across that hefty bust line of yours."