Things were awkward, to say the least. It was presumed that meeting would make the boys more comfortable with each other, but that was not the case. How were they supposed to interact now? Do they sit together at lunch? Sit next to each other in class? Say hi in the hallway? Wave in the hallway?
Evan was used to awkward, but not like this. He never had to wonder what was appropriate for a relationship. All he had were Jared and Alana, and he didn't need to be shy with either of them, for he'd known them long enough to act natural.
Connor was just as unsure as Evan. This didn't stop them from emailing, but topics felt more restricted than before. Something about the lack of anonymity made everything more anxiety-inducing and stressful. What if one of them brought it up in public?
Connor
where do you live
Evan
Sorry, what?
Connor
i wanna hang out
i'll come get you
where do you live
Evan was flabbergasted. Yesterday, he couldn't even tell if Connor wanted to be friends or be seen in public with him. Now, Connor was making impulsive plans to hang out with him. Is this what friendship is?
As Evan awaited Connor's arrival, he stared into his closet, trying to find something to wear. Feeling defeated, he went with his usual - a blue striped polo and khaki pants. He self consciously chewed his nails as he sat on the couch, waiting for Connor when there was a knock on the door.
Connor was standing there on his lawn in his usual black attire, his hair in a small bun resting in the nape of his neck. Evan wiped his sweaty palms on his pants as he opened the door and followed Connor to his car.
"Where are you taking me?" Evan asked quietly, shocking himself with the lack of stutter.
"It's a surprise." Connor bit his lip, taking short glances at Evan through the rearview mirror every few seconds. "My family used to do this all the time."
They sat in a silence that couldn't be deemed as comfortable or uncomfortable. It was just silence. They were on a winding country road that Evan no longer recognized until a small building appeared in the distance with the neon sign reading À La Mode. Connor easily found a parking spot in the uncrowded lot before leading Evan inside.
"I'll order for you," he spoke softly, waiting for Evan to meet his eyes, "Y'know, so you're like, not uncomfortable or anything."
"Thank you." Evan blushed, noticeably relaxing. "What do you recommend? I've n-never been here."
Connor spent the next several minutes pointing out his favorite treats from his childhood until the two agreed to just share a banana split. After a long period of snacking, stutter-filled conversations, and brain freezes, they were ready to navigate to their final destination.
"Can I have a hint?" Evan begged, feeling bewilderingly comfortable, causing a warm feeling to bubble inside him, not knowing Connor had the same feeling.
"What is the one thing I know about you, other than your name?" Connor was implying his love of trees, but Evan was on a completely different path.
"That I'm an anxious mess who is incapable of having a normal conversation?"
"Wh- no. That's not where I was going with that. Trees, Ev. You told me you like trees." It was as if Connor had timed it perfectly because, at that very moment, an abandoned apple orchard came into view. Evan had only been here once before, and it wasn't his favorite memory. He powered through it though, suppressing the memories and feelings he didn't want to feel.
Somehow the decision was made to climb a tree, and it somehow happened to be the tree that Evan had "fallen" out of just a few weeks prior. Connor hadn't known this when he chose the tree but could sense the uneasiness when Evan appeared on the same branch as him.
"Evan?" he waved a hand in front of Evan's unblinking face, "Are you okay? Are you, like, afraid of heights or something?"
"No!" Evan shook his head rapidly, causing him to lose his balance as Connor steadied him, "I'm totally f-fine. Just got lost in thought."
"You sure? You can tell me if something is wrong. I know it was easier over email, but I'm here and I can do much more in person than over a keyboard or through a screen."
"Thank you f-for your concern but I'm really f-fine."
"Did you know that you stutter more when you lie? You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but if you need to talk, I swear it's not going to bother me."
"This is the tree I f-fell out of. It's f-fine though, it's kind of f-funny actually, b-because I llaid there for a couple minutes waiting for s-somebody to come, like 'any minute now, somebody's going to come! Any minute now' and nobody d-did."
"What was the funny part of that?"
"That nobody came. That's the f-funny part."
"Well, that is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard."
They talked for hours and shot the breeze, talking about things that would just randomly pop into their minds. Eventually, they somehow landed on the topic of relationships,
"Didn't you s-say you had a girlfriend? Haley or s-something?" Evan picked at his nails as they chatted.
"Uh, yeah. Her name's actually Hannah..." Connor's demeanor changed rapidly as he corrected Evan, "How about you? Do you have a girlfriend or a crush?"
"Relationships will n-never be my point of expertise. B-but there is this girl I'm kind of into..."
"Really? What's her name?"
"You m-might know her... Her n-name is Zoe?"
Connor furrowed his eyebrows at this, "Zoe Murphy? My sister, Zoe Murphy? Yeah, I think I know her."
"Oh, my God! I didn't even put that together. I'm s-so sorry, Con-"
"Are you ready to go?"
"What?"
"Yeah, it's getting late. We should go home before parents start to worry."
"Parent. Singular. N-not plural."
"We should get home before your parent starts to worry." Connor corrected, bitterly. They made their way back to the car in silence, Evan dismounting the tree in a safer manner than his previous encounter. Evan had totally let it slip his mind that they had the same last name and looked nearly identical.
Connor dropped him off at home without uttering a word, even when Evan apologized profusely and thanked him for taking him out. They hadn't even made eye contact since, even though Connor could feel Evan's eyes burning into the side of his face nearly the entire ride.
Evan
Are you angry with me?
I totally understand if you are.
I shouldn't have said anything.
It was so stupid of me.
I'm sorry.
I'm really stupid.
And now I'm blowing up your inbox.
I'm sorry.
Connor
idk if i'm mad
goodnight
Evan
It's only 7:30.
Connor
goodnight.
