twenty-one • 21

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     All in all, Evan's father wasn't too insufferable during the dinner.  He would take a few jabs at Evan for his "feminine meal" every now and then, but it was mostly catching up.

     "So..." Evan began, desperately hoping to break the silence, "How's your family?"

     "I could've sworn we talked about them in the car," his father recalled, making Evan feel stupid.

     "No, yeah, we did.  I just didn't know what else you'd wanna talk about."

     "How have you been?  It's been a little while."

     "Good."

     "Really?  That's it?  I haven't seen you in eleven years and all I get is 'good'?"

     Maybe you should have called even once in those eleven years.  "There's just n-nothing remarkable."

     "How's school going?"

     "It's fine."

     "Made any friends?"

     "Well, yeah.  I have Connor, obviously, and you remember Jared, right?"

     "You're still friends with the Kleinmans kid?  I would've bet money that friendship would only last months, a year at most."

     Evan didn't even know how to respond, or what that meant.  While he didn't want to dwell on it, it was a habit for him to overthink everything and suddenly he found himself picking over every one of his insecurities and reasons why Jared wouldn't want to be his friend anymore.

"Anyway," his father spoke up again, snapping Evan away from his self-hatred, "Connor, right? Who's your dad, Connor? I bet I know him."

"His name's Larry." Connor picked at his nails, definitely dissatisfied with the new topic of conversation, "Everyone knows him. Larry Murphy?"

"You're Connor Murphy?"

"I – yes?"

"Oh."

Nobody said anything after that. Evan's dad just paid the bill and they silently got in the car, nobody saying a word the entire way home. It was evident that he knew who Connor was, and that he had opinions. Evan was shocked that his dad didn't state his concerns with the sole intention of making Evan uncomfortable, but he wasn't complaining.

Evan and Connor got dropped off, his father not wanting to stay longer and miss his hotel check-in. For once, there was an awkward silence between the two, which rarely ever happened anymore.

"Your dad hates me," Connor said, trying not to laugh.

Evan saw Connor's smile and returned it, shrugging and responding, "C'est la vie."

"Wanna run to the store and get some snacks and energy drinks and have a movie marathon?"

     Evan hesitated.  He'd been meaning to go to the store for a while now.  A couple of days back, he saw an article about weight loss and how cigarettes can make you lose your appetite.  He never really found a good time to go and he didn't know if he wanted to buy them with Connor around.  He figured Connor wouldn't say anything, seeing as Connor himself smoked the occasional cigarette, so he grabbed his ID and made his way to the door.

     When they got to the store, Evan followed Connor like a lost puppy.  He helped Connor decide between snacks and what flavor energy drink to get before they made their way to the checkout.  The cashier rang up all their snacks before asking, "Anything else?"

     Connor was about to respond with a no, but Evan quickly interjected, "A box of, uh, cigarettes, please."  He tried to ignore the bewilderment on Connor's face as the cashier asked what kind he wanted.

     "There are different kinds?" Evan asked, an embarrassed blush spreading across his cheeks, "Uh, I guess the ones in that green box?"

     Evan quickly slid his ID over to the employee as he nodded and rang them up, stating their total as both boys pulled out their wallets.  After argumentative eye contact, Connor sighed and put his wallet away reluctantly.  Evan grabbed their bags and made his way back to the car, feeling Connor's eyes burning into his back as he for in the car and buckled his seatbelt.

     "What the fuck?" Connor asked, an unreadable emotion on his face, "Since when do you smoke?"

     "Since n-now," Evan replied shortly, not wanting to justify his choice.

     "Have you ever smoked before?"

     "Nope."

     "Do you even have a lighter?"

     Shit. "I f-forgot I needed one of those...  Do you have one I can borrow for, like, a couple days?  I swear I'll give it back."

     "I can't give you a lighter.  You know I support you and want to help you with anything I can, but I can't help you do this."

     "Why not?" Evan pleaded, "You smoke!"

     "That doesn't make it okay.  Why do you even want to smoke anyway?"

      "Why not?"

     "There are a thousand reasons not to smoke.  There's no good reason to start smoking."

     "You said it makes you f-feel good."

     "Evan–"

     "If I'd known you were gonna lecture me then I would've just waited until tomorrow to b-buy them."

Sincerely, Me • Dear Evan HansenWhere stories live. Discover now