It was time to return to school and Evan had become a regular smoker. He was sitting next to Jared in class, drumming his fingers against the desk. Jared was going on and on and on about a video game, and while Evan usually didn't mind, it was driving him insane.
Jared was doing elaborate hand gestures while talking, excitement so evident on his face. "So I was on level fifty-two - fifty-two! - and I was killing all the zombies, and–"
"Jared!" Evan interrupted, rubbing his temples, "I really don't care. Please stop."
"Whoa..." Jared was taken back. Evan never reacted like that. "What the hell is your problem?"
"I'm sorry, I just – I'm so tired."
"You're irritable."
"I'm stressed."
"Well, this is just a goddamned clusterfuck of negative emotions, huh? Why are you so miserable?"
"It's nothing," Evan sighed, "I don't even know why I feel like this."
"You seem less anxious than normal. Like, you're not stuttering and you totally just snapped at me. You're not even Evan anymore."
Evan hated when his anxiety became his identity, but Jared was right. Evan had been significantly less anxious since he began smoking and he didn't feel like himself – in a good way. The bell rang and Evan darted out of the classroom, through the back doors of the school, and threw himself against the wall. His hands flew through his bag before they landed on a much-needed box and lighter.
He'd only known about this place because of Connor. Sometimes after a bad day, Connor would come here for lunch because there were no teachers or security cameras to stop you from smoking. There were about three other people there, all having a conversation when Evan lit his own cigarette, letting his thoughts float away when he got a text.
Con :-)
where are you
kleinman said you ran out and he lost you the second the bell rang
are you okay
Ev
I'm in the back.
Don't tell Jared.
Little did Evan know, Jared was reading the texts over Connor's shoulder. Connor quickly tried to lock his phone, but it was too late.
"The back?" Jared inquired, "Why would he be there? And why wouldn't he want me to know?"
"I have no idea," Connor stammered, "But I think you should stay here while I go check on him."
"Oh, hell no. I'm coming with you."
As Connor and Jared made their way to the back, Connor kept looking for a good time to text Evan and tell him that Jared was coming. He knew Evan's concerns about him finding out, especially after Connor's reaction. It was too late, though, as Jared burst through the doors, Evan's eyes widening as he tried to hide the cigarette.
"I tried!" Connor exclaimed, throwing his hands up in surrender, "He was reading the texts at the same time!"
"What the fuck?" Jared spoke, no emotion evident in his tone.
"Hi, Jared..." Evan murmured, not meeting his eyes as he yearned for another drag, "Whatcha doin'?"
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing much."
"What is that?"
"What's what?"
"The cigarette!"
"What cigarette?"
"The one in your hand."
"There's no cigarette in my hand." At this point, Evan was telling the truth. He'd already put it out and tossed it far behind him, hoping they could just forget about it; however, when Jared stormed back into the school, it was evident that they could not.
Evan
Jared, please.
Where did you go?
Please come back, or tell me where you are and I'll come to you.
Please talk to me.
Jared
You didnt even mention it
You told fucking connor and not me
Im supposed to be your best friend and you told murphy before me
Enjoy your fucking lung cancer evan
Evan
I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be upset with me.
Jared
Well look how that turned out
Now im mad at you because youre a smoker, you lied to me, and you snapped at me because youre a fucking nicotine addict now
Great plan evan!
You just didnt tell me because you were afraid i would tell my mom and she would tell your mom
You cant even own up to that
Evan
It wasn't that, Jared!
I promise it wasn't that.
You're so upset with me now, I thought I could avoid it if I didn't tell you.
I didn't think you'd find out and then you wouldn't have a reason to be mad at me.
Jared
If you want lung cancer by your thirties them thats fine
But you hid something from me
You tell me everything
This is something really important that you didn't tell me and thats not you
