Ruin and Revival

Chapter 53: Vanish

AXEL

I bite back my revulsion as I practically push Dianna off me to glance in the direction of the clattering of glass. I didn't even need to check to know it was Arika. Dianna's rose water perfume suffocates me, my nose itching at the scent that seemed to drench everything that she touched.

"How about we get to know one another first before any more physical contact?" I laugh nervously, trying to keep the frustration threatening to overwhelm me again from resurfacing.

"Well, if all things go along smoothly, we are to wed in three weeks time." I can only stare down the long hallway, garnished with ugly ribbons and decorations. The feeling in my chest tightens, the pounding of my heart quickens.

"If things go smoothly." I snap through grit teeth. Turning on my heel, I search for that flash of royal blue, that face that held such determination, and now such despair. Dianna doesn't bother following me, especially after my particularly ill manners. The blood roars in my ears, knots forming, undoing just to knot again in my gut. The world feels like it is closing in on me, trapping me and forcing me into this awful, unwanted fate.

I need fresh air. I find her hand before she can turn around and we high tail out of there, of that accursed hall filled with superficial people with goals beyond the wants of two human beings.

The tropical wind refreshes me, makes me feel grounded like I am finally myself again.

"Why did you bring me-" I force my lips onto hers, missing the sensation of her being mixing with mine so much I was going to burst. The ocean waves crash in response and cool, light water brushes our skin, drying immediately in the scorching sun. Arika pushes me off, but I cannot budge, will not budge.

"Axel, I can't." Arika turns away and I know the water on her face is not from the waves.

"Arika, let's runaway. I know a place where we could go. We can forget all of this, leave it all behind." I grab her hand, ignoring the alarms blaring in my brain, fighting back that sickly wave of deja vu. You know how it ended last time.

"Just you and me." Hope, bright and blissful, flashes in her eyes. But that glimpse of a new future disappears in the mountain of darkness, of guilt, of self-resentment.

"What has gotten into you?" She snatches her hand out of mine, holding it close to her chest.

"You cannot abandon these people, not for someone as insignificant as me. You are their last hope and as much-" Her voice cracks and she balls her fist within the fabric of her elegant dress, a rich blue that now matched the sea under the afternoon sun.

"I would die to grow old with you, watch the oceans with you, eat mangoes and watermelon and strawberries with you. But I can't leave Bri behind, leave this world behind to suffer. If we run away, Axel, I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that all of this water could help millions of thirsty, starving families and I got in the way! And you wouldn't be able to too. I love you, which is why I have to let you go save the world." Arika leans heavily against the balcony railing, so delicate and fragile like another word would shatter her completely. We stay in silence for too long. I tip my head back, looking at the clear sky. What a waste of such a beautiful day.

"Then leave. Leave my palace. I'll go insane knowing that you are watching me court another woman, a woman who makes my skin crawl. Let me just buy you a place so you can live your life, pursue your dreams. So I won't hold you back any longer." Defeat like I have never felt before saps all of me, and I find myself slumped on the floor, my arm covering the tears threatening to spill out.

An all too familiar head leans against my shoulder, a kiss as light as a feather touching my forehead.

"If we are meant to be, life will find a way. I trust in Fate. And if Fate says we are not, then just know, I am glad I fell in love with you." A forlorn voice whispers in my ear.