"I'm right here, Love." TMR Newt x Reader

Chapter 6

(A/N: I'm trying to be sensitive about warnings, so there is a suicide attempt mentioned)

I lifted my head up towards him. "Newt, you don't have to talk about it."

"No," he said, "I want to talk about it with you. I need to talk about it." He put an arm under me, and one over my waist, pulling me close to his chest. I nuzzled my head back into his neck, taking in his scent. He somehow smelled good, like pine, even after sweating all day.

"I used to be a runner. I miss it. It's a lot more thrilling than picking plants out of the earth everyday."

I laughed softly, and I felt his chest move as he chuckled with me.

"When I came up in the box with all the other boys, I was scared, like the rest of them. Didn't know where I was, didn't know who I was. But, they boys and I, we adapted. Built ourselves a home here, made it our own. No matter how much we got settled here, though, I just felt... empty."

He paused, and readjusted his arms, somehow pulling me closer to him. He took a deep breath, breathing into my hair.

"I don't know if any of the other boys felt like that. Maybe they did. But even with my memories gone, I... I just knew that something was missing. And I couldn't have that. I couldn't take it. So, one morning, I got up early and I went out into the maze. And I went and I found the tallest wall I could, and climbed up there, and... and I jumped off it."

"Oh, Newt," I said softly.

"No, it's okay. I wanted it to kill me then, but when I landed on the maze floor, I was still alive. Snapped my leg in three different places. I was helpless on the floor; I thought that was it. Then Minho found me, somehow. And he picked me up and took me back to the glade. He gave me a second chance. No one but he and Alby, and you, I guess, knows what really happened. The gladers learned not to ask about it."

"I'm sorry. I-"

"No," He said, interrupting me, "Don't apologize for something you had no control over. But," he said slowly, as if calculating each word, "I don't know what this means, but the second I saw you in that box, that feeling of something missing, it just went away."

I didn't say anything as anxiety exploded in my stomach. Did we know each other before the maze?

Newt cleared his throat. "Like I said, I don't know what that means. But I do know that all the other gladers are asleep now, and you should get some rest."

I nodded. Snuggling closer to him, I listened to his heartbeat. It was calming, and lulled me to sleep.

~~~~

I woke up, still in Newt's arms. Over the course of the night, both of our legs became tangled, one of my legs draped over his waist, and the other encased by his.

I didn't want to leave his side this morning; he was warm and comfy.

This was just what friends did, right?

Because he was still asleep, I decided that I had time to think.

Newt tried to kill himself? I couldn't imagine the boy beside me doing that. Why would he tell me what happened, and no one else? And, why would his emptiness go away when he saw me? Did we know each other before the maze? Did he think of me as more than a friend?

Did I think of him as more than a friend?

I moved my head away from him to get a better look. He was handsome, no doubt about that. His blonde hair was disheveled from sleeping, but it suited him. As he breathed in and out, he blew a small cowlick of his hair up and down.