I'll Be Ok Soon - Ryan Ross x Reader

17

Ryan and I moved to my bed after a while.

"Ryan please don't do that kind of shit to yourself." I was holding his hand under the sheets and he was making small circles with his thumb on my waist with his free hand.

"I'll try not to."

"It hurts me to see you this hurt."

Silence.

"Ryan?"

"Hm?"

"Where did you get that razor?"

"I-I brought it with me when I packed."

"Why?"

"I don't know, y/n. I really don't."

My grip on his hand tightened. "Do not go fishing for that razor, okay? It stays in that trash can."

He pecked me on the lips. "I won't."

More silence.

"I'm sorry about your dad.."

"It's fine."

"I know you're not ok, Ry."

He sighed. "I'll be ok soon."

——————

I got a text from Brendon a little while later.

b- hey how's ryan holding up?

y/n- idk..not too well in my opinion but he says he's fine. i walked in on him self harming..

b- that's normal for him..me and the other band members have seen him do that countless times to himself. he says that he'll stop but he ends up doing it some more a few days later.

y/n- he told me that he would stop..do you think he will?

b- maybe he will listen to you. he never listens to anyone else when we tell him to stop. maybe you can change him.

y/n- alright.

b- good luck with him.

y/n- thanks. ill need it.

I put my phone down and rubbed my temples.

I need some time to myself.

I grabbed my key, phone, earphones, and jacket and headed out the door to take a small walk and get some fresh air.

—-
I plugged in my earphones and turned on my A Fever You Can't Sweat Out playlist. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and let whatever song that came on shuffle play. I looked around at my surroundings. There was a coffee shop, some apartments, small miscellaneous shops near those, etc. Ive seen these things all my life. It's home. I've never gotten a chance to get a good look at the people around. There was the occasional couple holding hands, the gangsters all huddled in a group by the tattoo parlor, the group of college kids, high schoolers, middle schoolers, a few street performers here and there. I came across a group of people though..that is very commonly seen in 2007. It was a group of emos. But they all weren't..quite there yet. Like not completely emo. They were all in probably middle school. They were all girls. 3 of them had long brown hair, 2 had dirty blonde, and one had brown hair with green dyed tips. They all had on band t-shirts. Two had on My Chemical Romance, and the rest had on Panic! At the Disco shirts. They were all giggling about something, so i decided to act like i was window shopping near them, just to eavesdrop. Seen as the majority of them had on Panic shirts, it sparked my interest a bit to as of what they were talking about. I listened for a good while and heard the majority of the conversation.

"Did you guys hear the rumor that Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross are dating?"

"Wait what really?!"

"Yea! They were kissing onstage during a performance!"

"Wow! Wait..doesn't Ryan have a girlfriend?"

"Yea. I think her name is Y/n...or something like that. I don't care for her though. Ryan is mine!"

"That's funny, Luna. Ryan is for Brendon...and me."

"Oh my gosh shut up!"

And then I ran. All the way home.

How the hell did they know that me and Ryan...

Are a thing?

Wait.

We're not.

But we sure as hell act like we are.

But that's besides the point.

How did they know my name?

How did they know that me and Ryan hang out together?

Oh my god.

Keltie.