OBEDIENT. (Book Four)

7

She wanted to say 'don't leave me', but she couldn't do it, not again. She was so tired of begging people to love her.
-Unknown

~

The loud clashing of thunder had me stirring awake and I yawned as my body subconsciously stretched. Opening one eye and then the next, I waited a full minute before they could focus on the dark room.

My bed was empty and I pulled the covers around my naked body as I checked the time on my phone. It was barely after two in the afternoon and the dark clouds outside made it seem as though night was upon us. Sighing, I sat up moments before my door opened and I couldn't stop the small tinge of disappointment as my eyes landed on my twin.

"Hey, did I wake you?"

"No." I grumbled, sleep still evident in my voice.

Austin pushed the door the rest of the way open and came over to me; a tray of food held in his hand and a small smile on his face.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, his face filled with concern.

"Broken." I replied honestly, the truth behind my words buried deep within.

"I brought you some comfort food."

"You cooked?" I asked perplexed.

"Ah, no. I ordered."

I smirked as I saw the cooked veggies with rice that was heaped perfectly on the plate as Austin sat next to me. We sat in silence for the next few minutes; him staring at me from the corner of his eye, wanting to ask me something but refraining and me, trying my best to look exhausted so he wouldn't.

All too soon the meal was finished and as I washed it down with the fruit juice he brought I couldn't avoid the abrupt sigh that came from him. Deciding to just face the beast and get it over with, I turned and saw his gaze already fixed upon me.

"I really am sorry about what happened today." He began and somehow that one statement made me want to break down all over again. What stopped me? I hadn't a clue.

"It wasn't your fault Austin. I should have screamed or fought back or-"

"Hey, stop that. You don't have to defend your actions. You've had years of torture with that man and your body automatically went into fight or flight mode... I don't blame you sis. I just wished you'd let me kill the good-for-nothing bastard."

"That still wouldn't save me from this nightmare, because then I'd be worried about you and forced to only see you behind a thick sheet of glass."

"But he'd be dead."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes." He deadpanned and I rolled my eyes just as a soft knock came from my bedroom door.

I looked up, expecting it to be someone else but was effective in hiding my disappointment as I saw Jane standing at my doorway.

"Mommy." She half cried, half groaned as she ran the short space towards me.

Austin barely removed the poor plate from harm's way seconds before I was crushed in a hug as Jane buried her head in my neck, her tears soaking me as I willed my sheet to stay in place.

"Oh mom, I'm so sorry." Came my daughter's broken cry, her hands tightening around my neck making it harder and harder to breathe, but knowing how scared she was, I let her continue to half kill me. "If I'd only known I'd be here sooner."

"It's okay, I'm fine. I promise."

Jane pulls away but doesn't release her hold on my neck and I fake a smile as she watches me with her tear stained face.

"I'm so glad uncle Austin was here. There's no telling what that psycho would've done and I..."

"It's okay Janie." I say, trying to comfort her. "I'm okay."

Kissing her gently on her forehead, I pulled her into the much needed embrace before Austin convinced her to give me a moment. Promising her that I'd be down as soon as I showered and dressed, I let out a long sigh as they both reluctantly left.

It took me less than half an hour to pull myself together, shower and get ready before entering the living room where both my twin and my daughter waited anxiously for me and I suppressed my emotions at the heartfelt care.

"Gee mom, thanks for making me worry. I was about to storm upstairs if you hadn't come down just then."

"I'm fine. I told you I had to shower and-"

"You're always fine." Jane cut in. "I'm your daughter, you don't have to lie to me."

"I..."

"I get you don't wanna talk about this... About him. I just wanted to check on you and to see if you wanted me to spend the night."

"Janie I'm f-" Before I even finished that sentence, I thought twice about it and decided that a different approach was necessary. "Austin is here for a few days, he'll ensure I'm okay. Go home to Darcy."

I smiled to make my point sink in and though the reluctance was there, she eventually caved, kissing me on the forehead and assuring me time and time again that she would check in as soon as the sun rose the next morning. Faking yet another smile, I walked her to the front door where she pulled me into another death defying hug before finally getting into her car and driving off.

Sighing with relief, I closed the door only to turn and find Austin standing near the living room couch, arms folded and a blank expression that still somehow made me think he was in a no shitting mood.

"You're having sex with women now?" He asked, getting straight to the point. "When did that happen?"

"I-I... wha- no?!"

"Really! That's the best you can do."

"I'm not-"

"I heard you. I wish I didn't, but I did." He looked me dead in the eye daring me to lie again before shaking his head. "How could you be so hard on your daughter, your own flesh and blood, just to turn around and do the same thing you'd been homophobic about."

"It's... I... it's complicated."

"Really! That's all you have to say... it's complicated?!"

"Austin-"

"You're worse than my wife."

"Austin."

I go to pull his hand to stop him from walking away from me but the cold look he shot my way had me halting and I held my breath as I heard the guest room door slam shut with such force that was sure to leave a dent.

I was in deep.

I dug my grave and soon everyone was going to bury me in it.

I could only imagine how Jane's going to react when she finds out. How Rosa will react. Worse yet, how society will react.

I could deny it. Say he was lying and convince them that I'd never do such a sinful act. I can be believable. I could end things with Ms. T, never see her again and go back to being with men; men whom I'd been destined to be with. To start a relationship with and produce kids.

Yes, I could change everything.

Come tomorrow, I'll have the perfect lie.

After all, who'd suspect a thing?