OBEDIENT. (Book Four)

9

~Paullie, listen to me okay. Tory is not a lesbian so you should just forget about it, okay?
~Lesbian? Lesbian? Are you fucking kidding me? You think I'm a lesbian?
~You're a girl in love with a girl, aren't you?
~No, I'm paulie in love with Tory, member? And Tory is... she is, in love with me because she is mine and I am hers and neither of us are lesbians.
-Lost and Delirious.

~

I didn't want to wake.

I wanted to stay in my little hole of darkness where I was safe and sound and listen to the world come crashing down around me. I wanted to reemerge from this silent slumber and realize that the last few days... months even, was a terrible, horrible game that someone was playing on me because of a mistake I'd made when I was younger. At least then I won't feel like my world was ending.

That, did not happen.

I knew I was awake when, before I could even open my eyes, my heart was racing something fierce as I heard the pacing footsteps of someone near me. It could only be that of my daughter but what if everyone else was sitting around, waiting patiently for me?

Can't I play dead for a little while longer?

The footsteps ceased but somehow I knew it stopped near me and my skin crawled as I swore I felt judgmental eyes on me. Braving death, I slowly allowed my eyes to shift open. The place was too bright, signifying that morning was still upon us and I squinted as I tried to readjust to the brightness. As soon as I could make out shapes and sizes, my eyes settled on Jane's curious yet confused gaze as she stood at the foot of my bed.

"She's awake guys." She spoke and her voice held no emotion causing my heart to race once more.

Austin was on his feet and standing next to Jane in no time before he cautiously made his way closer to me.

"Hey Jay... how you feeling?" He asks before pressing a damp cloth against my forehead.

The coldness had me subconsciously sighing and I pressed my head against his hand as I closed my eyes. "I've had better days." I half joked but it seemed he was the only one who found that amusing.

"Is it okay if I talk to Jane alone?"

The room slowly started to empty and I smiled weakly as my twin was reluctant to leave me alone. I wanted to jokingly say she's just a little girl... and my daughter, but I was afraid neither of them would find it funny.

As soon as it was just the two of us the place got ten times hotter and I pulled at the tiny thread on my sheet as I sat pressed against the headboard. Jane opted for pacing the floor whilst simultaneously boring a hole through it before giving up and siting stiffly at the foot of my bed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She begins softly.

"I... it's not what you think."

"You're not a lesbian?"

"No."

"So you didn't sleep with my girlfriend's ex boss?"

"I... she told you?" I accused, shocked. I knew it was just time before she blabbered.

"Don't sound so accusing! If uncle Austin hadn't just ratted you out I'd never known. Yet another reason why I should be mad at the both of them."