OBEDIENT. (Book Four)

24

A/N
Unedited.

Scream
So that one day
A hundred years from now
Another sister will not have to
Dry her tears wondering
Where in history
She lost her voice.
-Unknown.

It's been a month since I told Ms. T how I felt about her and it's been a month since she walked away.

That day was engraved in my mind and even though I wished I could go back in time and prevent myself from ever being hurt, I still forced myself to believe it happened for a reason.

I mean, she did cause the death of her lover so maybe she was right in saying loving her was a death wish.

"Aunt Justine?"

I was pulled from my walk down memory lane by my niece and I smiled as she took a seat by the island.

"Hey, you guys need more juice?"

I had a full house today and before, I would have been embarrassed to say they were all lesbians but now I couldn't care less and loved almost every single one of them just the same.

Thinking back, I remembered blaming gay people for turning straight ones just like them and maybe I still kinda believed it... but I wasn't disgusted by the fact of two people of any sex being together intimately.

"No, we're okay. I just needed some air and well, I guess I could kill two birds with one stone and ask you how you're holding up?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't have to pretend with me, I know what it feels like to have someone leave you after you've been through so much with them."

"I..." I barely stopped myself in time before I went confessing things. "You're my niece, I can't talk about these things with you."

"Of course you can. It's not like I can't understand. I've been in your position and it sucked but look at me now. We're married and are soon to be parents."

"She did something unforgivable."

"Love conquers all doesn't it? I may not know what happened but I do know... something this rare, this pure, should be cherished not forgotten."

I smile as Carol pats me on the hands before rejoining her cousin, her cousin's wife and her own girlfriend and I sighed before I too joined them.

I did want Ms. T. I wanted her more than I ever wanted anything else in my entire life.. except my daughter of course... but I just wasn't sure if I could or if I should.

She didn't love me or didn't want to love me and she did leave someone to die. I get that it was in her past but that was a woman she swore she loved.

Was that what loving her will be like and having her love me back?

I literally risked my life for her and almost lost it. I don't want to go through that again only for her to just leave me out in the cold.

But she did try to stop her husband from hurting me...

I was so confused and my head was starting to hurt so I grabbed a few more snacks and some punch and headed back to the family I knew didn't confuse me.

"Mom, oh my gosh, come settle this debate between shit head and I."

"Now Janie what did I tell you about talking to your cousin like that?"

"But she's being stupid."

"I don't care. You guys need to grow up and stop bitching with each other."