Lucid

Chapter 8

The next morning, they had the flat to themselves and goofed around in the kitchen, Mo Guan Shan complaining he never would get this damn breakfast done with He Tian groping him all the time and He Tian not giving a single shit. When they finally sat down and ate their pancakes, Mo Guan Shan looked at He Tian.

"Yesterday, you wanted to say something. When I told you about my mother working extra shifts."

He Tian took a sip of his coffee, seeming indecisive. "Yeah. There is something I don't understand. " Another sip. "But I know it is a sensitive topic and I don't wanna piss you off."

Mo Guan Shan just looked at him enquiringly. "So... your mom has a full-time job at the hospital. And works extra shifts. You work too. You live in this small flat, which can't be that expensive. So how come you are always broke?"

Mo Guan Shan averted his gaze from He Tian, staring blankly at the flowered tablecloth, and said nothing. After waiting several moments, He Tian wanted to apologize for prying and ruining the mood, when Mo Guan Shan spoke quietly.

"It's all my dad'sfault".

He cleared his throat and looked in his mug. "You know, it wasn't always like this. We had a nice place, with three rooms and a real kitchen. My dad had this restaurant, and it was going good, not great, I don't know, but okay. I guess. We were living a pretty normal life. No luxury or any exquisite stuff, but-" he shrugged. "Someday, he started to bring home gifts, expensive stuff, for my mom and me. Like toys, and jewellery, and fancy food and stuff like this. He even took me to an amusement park, which he always said was a place for stupid assholes with too much money. And I was happy, I mean, I was a kid back then, I didn't ask any questions. My dad usually worked a lot, and was mostly grumpy so I really enjoyed it when he was being nice. And generous."

Mo Guan Shan stared in space for some seconds.

"But then, something changed. I don't remember much, it's all so long ago, but he started to come home late at night, or not at all. Sometimes, he was really worked up, ranting about some assholes and how the world would fuck him. I'm not sure, but I think he also drank a lot. I knew my mom was afraid, even if she tried to hide it from me. Sometimes I heard them fight, when he came home, stumbling and shouting, and my mom tried to calm him down."

Mo Guan Shan swallowed hard, his knuckles clutching on hismug.

"I was not suppose to here this, but he called her a cunt andgreedy bitch and shit like that. In the morning, she pretendedeverything to be fine, but I could see she was scared to death."

Mo Guan Shan paused and breathed out.

"Then the day in the restaurant came. My dad was beaten to a pulp by some mafia guys, apparently he had fucked them over for some money. That was just the start. He hadn't paid his taxes over the last years, and also had several credit cards, all drawn down to the max. And worst of all, he had plundered the accounts of my mom and even her life insurance. It all came out when the police took him for tax fraud. Apparently, he had been gambling, and after a lucky streak he fucked it up. So he ended up in jail and my mom and me were left with literally nothing. I don't know how, maybe 'cause she was bankrupt, my mom made a deal with the bank. But the mafia doesn't make deals, of course, and threatened us to pay back his depths. And believe me, it's a lot of money this bastard lost. A fucking lot."

He took a sip of his now cold coffee.

"So this is why we are constantly broke. Sometimes I hate him so much I want to kill him. But I know that wouldn't change a fucking thing."

Mo Guan Shan fell silent, his face hard and sad at the same time. He Tian knew he probably had enough money to pay for a good part of the depths, and that his own relations to the mafia could help to arrange something. But he was also aware that offering this would offend Mo Guan Shan deeply, and so he just sat there and watched him, saying nothing. Mo Guan Shan also knew all oft his, and he was grateful for He Tian holding back. Eventually, he sighed and looked on his plate.

"I've never told this anybody. I'm... thanks for listening."

He looked so small, so vulnerable, that He Tian felt a strange restriction in his chest. He stood up and went behind Mo Guan Shan's chair, putting his arms around him and embracing him tightly. Mo Guan Shan let his head fell against He Tian's, and they stood like this for some minutes.

"I hate to let you go, but my back is going to break if I stay hunched like this", He Tian eventually muttered in Mo Guan Shan's ear, making him chuckle lightly.

"That would really be the end of the world. Maybe I can help you relax with a massage?"

He Tian's eyes sparked, and he kissed Mo Guan Shan on the neck.

"When does your mom come home?"

Mo Guan Shan laughed.

"You're fucking incredible, you know that? I just told you the story of my fucking life and all you think about is getting into my pants!"

"It's all your fault, offering me a massage, how in the world am I supposed not to think about getting into your pants?" He Tian answered, hands held up indefence.

Mo Guan Shan stood up, bringing his arms around He Tian's neck.

"You're still incredible, asshole", he said with a smile.

He Tian grinned at him, looking pleased. "I know."