The Broken Beauty

I Can't Do This Again

Maya was sitting on the Matthew's couch, slowly eating the snack Topanga made.

Riley was in her room getting ready for her date, she asked Maya to help, but Maya didn't feel like it so she left her alone.

Cory took Auggie and his little girlfriend Ava to the movies because Topanga refused.

Then Topanga left to get some work done at her office.

There was a knock on the door.

Shs got up and opened it to see a smiling Farkle with roses.

"Hey, Farkle. Lookin' handsome."

He grinned. "Thanks, Maya. You look like you are eating."

She sighed. "I am, kinda, a bit."

He put the roses doen on the chair and pulled her into a hug. "I'm glad. You need to eat. Is Riley ready to go.. go.. good greif you look amazing." He stuttered when he saw Riley walking over.

Riley giggled. "Thanks, Farkley. You look very handsome."

He grinned. "Ready to go?"

Riley nodded. He held out his arm and she linked hers through his. "Such a gentleman?"

He nodded and reached for the door. "Oh, your flowers! I got you some roses, your favorites."

"I'll put them in water. You crazy kids go have fun." Maya smiled.

"You sure you'll be okay Maya?" Riley asked, but Maya pushed them out the door.

"I'm sure! Enjoy your date!" She closed the door behind them and they shrugged then left.

Maya rushed to bathroom and leaned down in front of the toliet then she got rid of the snack Topanga wanted her to eat.

She wiped her mouth and got up then a drawer caught her eye. She knew it was Mr. Matthews drawer with his replace razors for his shaving kit. It was the drawer highest up so that Auggie would never get hurt. She opened the drawer and looked down at the shiny blades.

She tried once with a pair of scissors, but they were too dull. This time she could inflict some real damage. She ran the blade across her wrist and stared at the dark red blood flowing out.

There was a knock on the door, but she was zoned out and didn't hear it so she couldn't answer.

Lucas opened the door and looked around. "Maya? Are you here? Farkle texted that I should check on you! He said you were acting kind of weird earlier!" Lucas called out. He looked over and saw roses sitting on a chair.

He picked them up and went to the kitchen to put them in a glass pitcher of water. "There, better." He smiled. "I guess she isn't here. Maybe, she went to her place." He said to himself as he placed the flowers on the table.

He was walking to the door when he eyes caught something else. There was a plate of mac and cheese sitting on the table. He didn't think the Matthews would leave food out while they're out.

A thought crossed his mind aand made a shiver shoot up his spine. He gulped and ran over to their bathroom. "Maya?!" He knocked loudly on the door. "Maya?!"

Maya snapped out of her daze when she heard him yelling. She quickly turned the faucet on and ran her wrist under the water.

Lucas threw the door open and Maya spun to face him. The razor clattered to the floor. He stared at it with wide, scared, eyes then he looked back at her. The water in the sink was red and her wrist was still bleeding. He clenched his jaw and grabbed a towel.

He took her arm and put the towel around it. "Put pressure on it." He growled out then he let her arm go and walked out.

"Lucas!" Maya yelled after him. "It's not a big deal! I'm fine!"

He stopped, took a deep breath, then he spun to face her. "This time! This time, Maya! What about next time?!" He yelled.

"Would you calm down?! I wasn't laying in a puddle of blood! I was just standing at the sink-"

"This time! What about next time?! What about when you cut too deep?! What about when you pass out from purging and no one can wake you up?! What about when I have to watch you be put six feet under like her?!" He yelled, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.

Maya gaped at him. "What are you talking about? Who?"

Lucas wiped at his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. "My cousin." He sighed. "She died."

Maya stared with her jaw dropped, her breathing was slow and even, then she finally closed it and frowned. "I'm sorry."

He sucked in a breath and shook his head. "No, don't say that, you're just like her." He let out a bitter laugh. "You're sick just like she was." He let the tears fall. "I couldn't save her and I can't save you, you won't let me try, just like she did. The purging, the cutting, the depression..." He licked his lips and he could taste the saltiness of his tears. "I can't do this again. I can't watch you die the same way she did." He shook his head. "Bye Maya." He ran a hand over his face then he walked out the front door.

Maya watched in shock as he walked away from her. She wanted to run after him, but she didn't know what to say to him.

Tears started to fall down her cheeks and she fell to her knees. She sat on the steps crying.

A few minutes later the door opened. "Maya?" She heard a voice and looked up, but it wasn't Lucas. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Topanga dropped her stuff on the couch and walked over to sit down beside her. Maya didn't speak, she couldn't, she could only sob so Topanga just held her close and whispered soothing words. She saw the bloody towel on her wrist, but she knew that it wasn't the right time to talk.