Hart Hunter

Left and Found

Shawn wasn't sure what he would have done if Cory had actually gone to New York without him. Too many people in Shawn's life had left already for him to watch yet another part of his soul walk away from him. His parents had started this mess, but Angela had finished it. Losing Cory and Topanga might have been enough to destroy him for good.

For a while life was okay. With Cory and Topanga by his side, Shawn knew where he stood. Being their third wheel was nothing new to him; it had defined most of Shawn's life, and New York was big and bright enough to distract him from thinking of Angela. She'd said they'd write to each other, but her letters quickly stopped, and Shawn knew what he'd known the moment he'd let her leave; it was over - really over - and a part of him couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he'd just been selfish and asked Angela to marry him. What if he and Angela were married now, just like Cory and Topanga? Maybe he'd be as happy as them if he'd just followed through. Shawn knew why he'd given in then, and he was sure Angela was happy without him. It was just that he wasn't happy without her. Shawn tried to fill the hole Angela left in his heart with Cory and Topanga's happiness. He'd always been jealous of their love for as long as he could remember. Cory Matthews, his best friend in all the world, knew every love under the sun. A father's love. Mother's. Sister's. Brother's. And of course Topanga, his soulmate. Shawn wouldn't be human if he wasn't jealous, and he was used to it. This was part of his world, and always had been. So Shawn wasn't destined to find love. Life went on.

But everything changed on December 8th 2001 at 6am. Shawn gazed down at the helpless infant in his hands, with such awe he couldn't describe. She was only 7lbs 4 oz, and yet she was the biggest thing in the world. Shawn's life was forever changed the day Riley Matthews was born. He hadn't realized it until the instant he'd held her in his arms, just how much her arrival would affect him. She was so small, so helpless and beautiful. Twenty-one inches of tiny pink human, and his world was thrown upside down. The looks on her parents faces cut at Shawn's heart. He was ashamed that their happiness could do something like that to him. He saw an understanding in their eyes, the three of them united in a perfect way. Cory and Topanga weren't just Cory and Topanga anymore. They were a family. Shawn wasn't just the third wheel anymore. Did that leave him as the cool uncle? Or the wacky depressing neighbour? Something about that thought made him want to put some distance between such happiness out of his reach. Shawn wasn't brave enough to love again the way he'd loved Angela. There could only be one Cory and Topanga, and he was kidding himself if he thought anything else. Shawn would never catch up, so what was the point trying?

It was time to take the exit, to move off the main road and try his luck on the path less followed. Shawn was dropping out of the race. If he couldn't be successful in love, Shawn was going to find a way to be successful some other way, or at least he was gonna try. It was time to hit the road.

Maybe that was why he'd taken the job, it's name. Being a writer and photograph for 'Hit the Road' had felt very appropriate. It was a great way to keep his mind busy and his truck moving. Everywhere he went, Shawn took pictures. Photography, along with poetry, had been one of the few outlets he had. To Shawn's great surprise, his website started to do well and he was suddenly making a living at it. It was a modest living, but that didn't matter since he had no one to take care of. He didn't need more. Even saving a little money, there was plenty there to keep his gas tank full.

Shawn didn't totally lose touch. The closest place to a home he had was still with Cory. He went to visit whenever he got a little homesick. It was always a great visit, but something kept Shawn from sticking around too long. He would see how Riley had grown and changed while he'd been gone, and something about it would send him off again. In weak moments he worried that he was becoming his father. But at least Shawn didn't have anyone at home waiting for him. Shawn wasn't running away from his home like his father had.