Rowaelin+Feysand

Chapter 4

Nesta P.O.V

Some part of me had always known, I guess. But I'd never been ready to embrace it. Now, looking at Cassian, my mate, I knew I was. Cassian looked resigned. As if he was waiting for rejection. As if he knew exactly what was going to happen next. But if he guessed a rejection, he'd be off the mark.

"Cassian." I gently murmured. "I guessed. That was the big secret that you wanted to blackmail out of me."

"Say no already." his voice was layered by so much grief and agony that I gripped his muscled forearm.

"Cassian. I am not ashamed. Those words over there? Lies. I am honored, that such a selfless and hardworking male is my mate."

He smiled sarcastically. "And I'm High Lord of the Winter Court."

"Look, Cassian. I want you to be my mate. I accept the bond."

He went as still as death. "I don't believe you."

I sighed in exasperation. Feyre had it easy. "I'll prove it to you. I'll make you food."

Cassian P.O.V

When I told her, I only saw on her face confirmation. She did not seem angry or disturbed. Man, her facade was good. I knew for a fact that rejection would follow. I wondered if she would take the direct approach, or beat around the bush. Well, the outcome would be the same.

  "Cassian," she said softly. "I guessed. That was the big secret that you wanted to blackmail out of me."  

She didn't sound angry. Why wasn't she angry? She was such a good actress...

"Say no already." I growled. Without warning, she held my forearm. Why would she do that? To distract me from what she was going to say next?

  "Cassian. I am not ashamed. Those words over there? Lies. I am honored, that such a selfless and hardworking male is my mate."  

Sure. Why was she so good at words? If I had not been hurt so many times, I may have believed her. But I was just a punchbag, good for nothing nobody.

I gave a twisted smile. "And I'm High Lord of the Winter Court."

 "Look, Cassian. I want you to be my mate. I accept the bond." she whispered. 

I froze. Her acting was going way too far. It could not be legitimate, I would not allow that trickle of hope to start healing that open wound. I knew it would just get snatched away again.

"I don't believe you." I sounded like a defiant child, but it was nire than that. I couls not soar to cloud nine just to fall from a greater hieght.

She sighed. Ah, she'd cme to realize. But what she said next proved me completely and utterly wrong, and made my body freeze up even more. "I'll prove it to you. I'll make you food."  

I was still a statue, so she dragged me over to a table in the kitchen. Well, it could have been outside for all I knew; I was in such a daze. Why was she doing this? WHy was she torturing me this way? It was obvious she wouldn't actually make the food for me. Or maybe lace it with poison. Why would she want me, a mistake child, a bastard- born nobody, to be her mate. ANd how were we equals? She was- well- her, and I was just me.

I watched her slim figure dart around the kitchen, and soon enough I was hit by the smell of cinnamon. A second later, Nesta stood before me, nibbling her lip. Nesta was nervous. Somehow, that thought made me feel nervous too.

"Cinnamon rolls." she smiled.

In one fluid motion, I stole the plate from her hands, and wolfed them down. It wasn't so much that I was hungry, but I felt like if I did not do this quickly, it would fade away, like a whisper of a dream.

When I was finished, I scooped her up into my arms and thanked her, again and again.