Anonymous Letters

Letter #2

It's been a while since we actually talked or interacted with each other in any way. Remember when we actually used to talk? We had so many things in common, but I'm not too sure of that anymore. I remember when you helped me throughout my darkest times; those  times when I wanted to kill myself or just horribly hurt myself in many, different ways. You came up with a method to not self-harm. I remember that clearly and still use it to this day, and I greatly appreciate it.

  Although we live across the country, you've still been with me through so much. And I wish we still talked and acted the way we used to. But now, you don't remember me. You don't remember one thing about me, and damn, that's painful to think about. We were friends for three years, best friends, too. But then you left me one day without a word being said, and you cut off all forms of communication between us. I still don't know what I did wrong, but I'm so, horribly sorry for whatever I did. I loved you so much, and I hope you can forgive me for whatever I did wrong, if I even did anything wrong. 

  I remember when we first met, too. That was an exciting day, because I finally found someone who I actually got along well with. We had so many things in common, and we acted the exact same way. I was so grateful to get to call you my best friend.

  Thank you for being there for me, and making a change in my life. Although we don't talk anymore, and you don't even really remember me, I'm still happy I met you. Even though you have always been so toxic to me, and was the first reason I ever attempted to actually kill myself. A part of me is glad you're gone, although you've done so much. I regret falling in love with you so long ago, and you helped me gain trust issues by cheating on me, abandoning me, and always lying to me. Meanwhile, I trusted you and still always went to you instead of anyone else.

  I remember you told me how you were raped, and on instinct, yelled my name for me to save you. You lied about that, too.

  You helped break me, and I still haven't gotten any better.

  -Lucas