Anonymous Letters

Letter #11, the last letter

  Although I already wrote you a letter here, I want to shed a more positive light on it and try again. You haven't read the first letter yet, nor do I ever expect you to. But, I still wanted to try again and make a more positive version of it. So, here it goes...

  We have known each other for a little longer than three entire years now. We met a few days before 2015 began, and we started talking on New Years day. You didn't say much the first time we ever talked and you were as awkward as I'd normally be, but it was still nice to start talking with you. After that day, we talked more and more for quite a while, and then we admit that we both really liked each other. 

  I know you don't remember most things, but I remember every little thing that happened between me and you, both good and bad. I remember I truly believed you were my soulmate, and I remember the first day when we started dating. I loved you dearly, and I desperately hoped we could someday meet, and I still do hope we could someday. I remember the first time we broke up, and I remember all the other times, too. We've had an on/off relationship for quite a while, and I have to be honest, it was a pretty toxic one, too. You hurt me in many different ways, yet I always forgive you too quickly. I wish I didn't give you second chances as easily as I did, and still do. Sometimes I wonder if I still love you or not, although I know there would never be a time any of that would happen again, as I know you've moved on, and maybe so have I. I remember you always told me you'd always love me, no matter what. I wish I knew what you exactly meant by that, but I don't think I'll ever ask you any time soon.

  Although you've broken me many times before, you've also helped me through a lot. If it weren't for you, I would have been dead years ago, and I'm serious. You mean a lot to me, whether you realize it or not. I'm so lucky to have you in my life, and I am so thankful I met you. If it weren't for Animal Jam, I would have never met you or simply known about your existence. And if it weren't for meeting you, I would've quit Animal Jam and left that website in the past.

  A lot of people have both given us shit, and I'm sorry I wasn't there at all times for you. I truly believe I could've been there more for you, and I'm really sorry. Remember 'Swagger' and 'bonniel'? Yeah, those guys are dicks and I'm honestly glad they're both out of my life forever. Or at least I hope so. 

  Last but not least, I just wanted to say that I'm somewhat proud of you. Well, besides the whole drug part. I know you've had depression and struggled with self-harm for a while, and I'm proud you overcame that. I'm also proud of how good of a surfer you are. Alright, that's all for right now.

  Love,

Your best friend Luke