late night calls, and you've fallen asleep. you tell me you have to be up by 9, so you cant stay up too late like before.
you're silent, not making a noise. I set a time for when I plan to hang up the call - 1:20. that was 15 minutes ago. 6 minutes ago you coughed, and i wasn't sure if it was a genuine cough or if it was to break the silence & say that youre awake. because of that, I didnt say anything.
as you fell asleep, I wanted to tell you I love you, but I didn't want to ruin your rest. my voice always fails or cracks when I try to say "I love you" in a soft voice.
its now 1:41 and ive set a new time to hang up- 2am. but i also need sleep. maybe 1:45 or 1:50 then.
each time I swallow I fear you'll groan and wake up. each movement I make is slow, so I don't disturb the mic on my earbuds.
I just swallowed my spit for the 150th time and my throat made a weird kinda loud noise and I think you heard it.
you're still silent, so I think it's okay.
gosh, I love you. you talk nonsense when you're tired, your voice cracks when it's soft, and your dog voice is so cute and comforting it makes me miss you evermore.
we've discussed so much, broken so many barriers. I don't even think there's borderlines on what we can and can't talk about.
I love being by you. you're warm, besides your hands. when I shiver because of your cold basement you hug me tighter against your body.
I wish we were allowed to have sleepovers. nothing bad would happen! we haven't even kissed yet, so i dont know why my mom is worried.
it's now 1:52. I need sleep.
