I'm Home

Sixteen

Hope froze when she saw her file in Jen's hands. She didn't want Jen to read it. All god homes read files before adopting, which was why Hope was still in the system. Her file was filled with everything wrong she'd ever done. Forget to do a chore? Defiant. Can't hear over the foster parents' loud TV? Rude. Panic attack because you're being beaten? Troubled. Drop a bowl or two? Destructive. All of the words in that file were exaggerated and put there to hurt her, not help future potential parents. They were there so that she got sent to the dirty group homes or the abusive ones. 

"Don't read it, please." Hope begged. She hated that every mistake she'd ever made was in one folder, holding her down.

"If you think I'm going to drop you because someone was an ass, then you're crazy, Hope. I want to read it to find your birthday and prove that I love you no matter what." Jen held the file out of Hope's reach.

"You won't like what you see and it has stuff I want to say to you because I trust you, you shouldn't find them out trying to prove to me I can. I'm serious. Don't read it. I'll tell you my birthday, just don't read it!" Ope exclaimed. 

"I'm reading it." Jen was the most stubborn person she'd ever met.

"If you read that, I'll be pissed at you for weeks. That is a bunch of bull that other people wrote to keep me from people like you. The only thing in there that isn't bull is the worst one, so give it." Hope stuck out her hand.

"What's in there that you don't want me to see?" Jenasked gently. 

"Mom, I'm serious. Please." Hope was behind pissed now.

"Hope, I'm just going to read it, I'm not going to believe it." Jen protested.

"Fine. Read it. You're just going to do it behind my back anyways. And don't pretend this is for me, because if it was, you wouldn't be looking at me in the eyes and saying you're going to do the opposite of what'll really help. I'm going to Lana's trailer. I have twenty minutes." Hope snapped. 

"Hope! Hope, I'm sorry!" Jen called after her. 

"Don't bother." Hope yelled. Angry tears filled her eyes. She didn't go to Lana's trailer. She hid behind her own trailer. Normally, she would fight the panic attack that was washing over her with all her might, but not right now. She let the cloud of anxiety swallow her whole and tear her apart. She clawed at her wrists, to deep in panic to realize that she was actually hurting herself. When the panic died down, Hope saw crimson blood dripping from her wrist. She had scratched right on a newer cut, opening it. She heard people yelling outside and knew she was in huge trouble.

"We need to find Hope Mills-Morrison. She isn't on set and was in an argument with her mother." Someone called. 

"Jen, maybe she went to your trailer?" Lana suggested. Hope's eyes widened. She couldn't hide her arm unless she made it inside the trailer to clean the blood and wrap up her arms. She was caught.

"Hope, come out!" Bex yelled. She was just around the corner.

"Bex!" Hope whispered. Bex rushed over to the bleeding girl. Hope placed a finger over her lips.

"I know you suck at secrets, but I trust you more than I trust Jen right now." Hope explained.

"What the hell are you doing back here? Your mother is worried sick." Bex whisper-yelled. 

"Hiding from my mother. Just bring me some bandages and a water bottle, and I'll go tell her I'm fine, but I really don't want my mother inspecting my arms right now." Hope sighed. Bex nodded and joined Jen in the trailer. She slipped the things Hope needed in her pockets, then lied to get a water bottle. Bex rushed behind the trailer again, hands shaking.

"Thanks." Hope smiled, taking the bottle of water first. She pulled up the leather sleeve and dumped water over her cut. It was already done bleeding, so she was just making sure the blood was off of her arm. She grabbed the bandages and wrapped her arm, then stood. 

"I know you're mad at her, but why?" Bex asked.

"She wants to read my file and I don't want her to find out about this." Hope held her arm up. Bex nodded and gave her a hug, then dragged her from behind the trailer.

"Hope!" Jen yelled, wrapping the girl in her arms.

"I'm fine." Hope pushed her off. Jen was obviously hurt, but Hope didn't budge. She  was way too mad.

"Hope, talk to her." Bex instructed her.

"Not gonna happen." Hope pushed past everyone and walked inside. She felt she had the right to be mad. 

"Hope. You need a touch up." Someone pulled her aside and fixed her makeup, then she was off to shoot.

"Who are you?" Becca asked Bella, who was across the town line, studying the outskirts of Storybrooke. 

"I'm Bella. Where am I?" Bella replied.

"Storybrooke. I'm Becca. Come with me." Becca reached out a hand. Bella took it reluctantly. They made their way into town slowly, both of them scared.

"Why were you over there?" Bella asked.

"Running. You?" Becca asked.

"Running." Bella shrugged. They laughed and went straight to the police station. For some reason, Becca expected her sister to be there. She guessed intuition when she was right.

"Hi. I'm Becca and I found Bella on the town line." Becca almost whispered. Emma took a long look at Bella before saying anything.

"OK. Thank you for bringing her here." Emma stammered. Bella looked exactly like her mother.

"Elizabeth?" Belle asked.

"It's Becca here." Becca almost whispered.

"Oh my...you're here!" Belle gasped. 

"Cut!" The director yelled. "That was the one!" Hope and Bailee high fived and they headed off set. That was probably the twentieth time they ran that scene. At least, that's what it felt like. 

"Hope, Bailee, you kids are off now. We don't need you until tomorrow, good job." Someone called. Hope nodded, kissed Bailee's cheek, then rushed off set. She knew Jen couldn't follow her. Lana, on the other hand, could.

"Hope Regina Mills, get back here." She called. Hope groaned and spun on her heels to face her aunt.

"What the hell is going on with you? You're being an ass. She wanted to read the file, so what?" Lana asked.

"That file has defined me for my whole damn life, that's what! I want her to find out what's in there from me, not a piece of paper. Paper that says I'm dangerous. It says I'm rude, defiant, troubled, a threat to myself and others, disrespectful, and troubled. It says I show signs of PTSD, anxiety, and depression. That paper is a bunch of bull, Lana." Hope yelled. 

"Well, tell me why. Because you're not a piece of paper. I can't read you, Hope." Lawn sighed.

"I couldn't hear them talking, so I got labeled defiant. I cried when they beat me so now I'm troubled. I stood up for a kid that was getting her ass beat for something she wasn't even home for, I'm rude. I got followed home, so I'm the dangerous one. I don't even know why I'm a threat to others. All of it is bull." Hope snapped. She was yelling now. She couldn't stand it. Those words that kept her imprisoned for years hurt. They hurt too much.

"Hope, calm down." Lana placed a gentle hand on the girls shoulder.

"Leave me alone." Hope broke. A tear streamed down her cheek as she ran to the trailer. Rude, defiant, troubled. That's all she was to good parents that really wanted her. Disrespectful, destructive, dangerous. The words held her in a prison. One she couldn't break free of.