Everything She Was | ✎

06 ○ 𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮

I committed self harm again.

It was the pause my turmoil of thoughts were looking for once I had reached the point where pain becomes your solace and you are left soliciting for the silences - the nefarious ones that could drown your thoughts.

And you have no idea how much I hated myself for it, hated how all of that numbed me enough to eventually lull me to sleep; only to be haunted by the same monsters that torment me when I'm awake.

I don't know why I'm even telling you all of this. But one thing's for sure, I just have to let you know. Probably because it's almost as if I am confiding in you just like old times, another one of my habits I never fell out of.

Remember the first time I spoke to you? It was the last day of grade eight, Biology class, when I heard music playing- A Guitar that was my first thought.

As soon as the class was over I recall speed walking to the next classroom, peeping inside to see a tall lanky guy sitting on top of a desk. You were playing Mirrors and just as you hit the bridge, cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go I felt goosebumps prickle my arms.

There was something about you that kept me slowly drawing closer to where you were seated, like a moth to fire. I just knew somehow I had to talk to you but as bizarre as it sounds when you finished playing and grinned at everyone who clapped for you, I was absolutely out of words.