Order of the Phoenix: A group of wizards/witches dedicated to killing Voldemort and his deatheaters. Founded and led by Albus Percival Wolfric Bryan Dumbledore. Started up when the original voldemort was wreaking havok in the world. Closed down for a while, and then restarted when Voldemort was resurrected by Wormtail...Should have killed that rat when they could have :( But on the bright side, the series continued right? Or else Harry Potter would be, god forbid it, a mostly normal person and Harry Potter would just be a sitcom. No, I couldn't handle that, so thank you Wormtail ! I think..
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Fast forward
REMUS LUPIN: Harry and all the other kids, you're not allowed to know anything about anything. Just go play or something.
SIRIUS: No I'm going to be the cool adult and let you know that Voldemort is looking for some kind of weapon.
HARRY: Sick what is it?
MOLLY WEASLEY: Sirius!
HARRY: Look, they've killed my image in the paper! They think I'm a lunatic!
RON: DW happens all the time.
HARRY: No it doesn't!
RON: Sorry, but it seemed like the right thing to say
HARRY: I'm going to take a nap
During Nap
Harry sees himself as Lord Voldemort. Scar hurts, thinks inwardly: I should not eat those strange candies that Fred and George give me.
Brief list of cast, because I can't give them all enough dialogue:
Nymphadora Tonks (Bellatrix and Narcissa's sister, Sirius Black's cousin...wait, does that mean Harry and Draco are related somehow? Yes! Totally, family reunion related!--Go ahead and restart your heart). Sirius Black. Arthur Weasley, Molly Weasley, all the Weaslies...except for Percy who is being a Douche bag, and Charlie who is busy training Dragons, that's right, JK was first with that. Remus Lupin.
They all have dinner and chat, they get ready for school. But! Wait! Harry is being tried for using magic to defend himself against a Dementor!
ARTHUR: Don't worry Harry, everything is going to be alright.
HARRY: Sure
ARTHUR: Now walk into that telephone booth with me.
HARRY: Excuse me?
ARTHUR: I'm serious, this is the visitor's entrance.
HARRY: To the Ministry of Magic
ARTHUR: No to Oxford...Of course the Ministry of Magic
HARRY: Okay, sheesh
ARTHUR: Sorry, I'm a bit on edge today.
They get to the ministry of magic. It is magnificent and has lots of political propaganda. Minister of Magic is Cornelius Fudge, the wizarding world equivalent of Bush, although I think even Fudge could add and subtract.
Harry is being tried. There is an entire council trying him, and his only defence is Dumbledore, who does not even look at Harry properly.
DUMBLEDORE: It was in self defence
FUDGE: I don't believe you
DUMBLEDORE: Why not?
FUDGE: Because the dementors are controlled by the Ministry
DUMBLEDORE: So are you saying that you sicked the dementors on an innocent teenager?
FUDGE: No!
DUMBLEDORE: Well the only other person they listen to is Lord Voldemort. So which was it? You or Voldemort?
FUDGE: We're gonna need a bigger boat
DOLORED UMBRIDGE (DOODOO for short): They don'e even have a witness
DUMBLEDORE: Indeed we do! Ms. Figg?
MRS. FIGG: Yea there were dementors
DUMBLEDORE: Case closed. Harry Potter was innocent.
HARRY (inwardly): yes! I hope I never have to see Umbridge again. I wonder what's in the department of secrets. Man my scar is hurting again.
On the train
DRACO: Harry you're such a loser
HARRY: Were you the Triwizard Champion? I don't think so (he didn't actually say that but I wish he did:)
Ginny and Neville sit with them in the compartment as well. At Hogwarts, Harry realizes everyone hates him.
RANDOM STUDENT 1: Man I knew Harry was trouble
RANDOM STUDENT 2: Yea, and I heard his socks smell
RANDOM STUDENT 1: What does that have to do with anything?
RANDOM STUDENT 2: Hey at least I'm not crazy like Potter!
RANDOM STUDENT 1: Too True :/
HARRY: Man everyone hates me! This sucks
HERMIONE: But I believe you! I know you wouldn't make up the fact that Voldemort's back
RON: Yea, I agree with her. You always say the right thing
HARRY: No! Nobody cares about me. I'm so alone! OMG What's the point of life. Sheesh
Harry continues to PMS because nobody belives him and everybody is hating on him except for Luna Lovegood, who actually is a wierdo. Also, only Harry and Luna can see the Thestrals, magical horses that can only be seen by people that have seen someone die.
HARRY (to Luna): See, I knew I wasn't going crazy!
LUNA: Yes. Excuse me while I block out the nargles.
HARRY: What those aren't real.
LUNA: Somewhere over the rainbow
HARRY Z 8 / I will admit myself to an asylum
After the feast and all that jazz, they finaly start classes.
DOODOO: Hello everyone, I am your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, and in this class, there is no magic allowed!
HARRY: But this is Hogwarts
DOODOO: Fifty pushups!
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The rest is coming soon!
Please let me know what you liked/disliked in the comments section!
