Okay, if you have ever seen Mean Girls or anything in that genre of chic flics, this is going to be a breeze to understand, if not...you need to be educated, there's nothing more I can say about that.
At the British Prime Minister's Office
Fudge appears in British Prime Minister's office through his fireplace.
BRITISH PRIME MINISTER: WTF?
I'd be freaked out too.
FUDGE: Don't worry, it's just me, the Minister for Magic. There's this whole other world you've been ignorant of your whole life.
PRIME MINISTER: Am I being punked or something?
FUDGE: No, you're just being an idiot. Now shut up and listen.--and don't think of calling security, they all work for me anyways.
PRIME MINISTER: What is it?
Well skip the long and traumatizing story of the Prime Minister finding out about the wizarding world. Keep your pants on, we'll get back to Harry Potter soon.
FUDGE: Sick, so I'm going to need you to help me out because there's this evil, immortal, undead villain out to get us.
PRIME MINISTER: I knew those glittery twilight vampires couldn't be any good.
FUDGE: Didn't I just tell you to be quiet like five minutes ago?
PRIME MINISTER: I'm sorry, just don't turn me into a frog
FUDGE: This guy's name is You-Know-Who
PRIME MINISTER: Who?
FUDGE: You know, You know who
PRIME MINISTER: No I don't know
FUDGE: Muggles
That's the jist of it, I actually thought it was a very pointless dialogue at the beginning, when we just want to get along with the story. All you needed from that was the context that Voldemort was causing death and destruction. "Really?" You may ask "I never would have guessed that's what he'd do with his spare time!" Seriously.
~~
Dumbledore and Harry before the burrow but after Slughorn's house.
HARRY: So am I the chosen one?
DUMBLEDORE: I dunno
HARRY: What's happening with the Order of the Phoenix
DUMBLEDORE: Prolly same ol same ol
HARRY: What am I supposed to do?
DUMBLEDORE: a) don't get killed b) keep your invisibility cloak c) don't get killed
HARRY: Am I still going to have occlumency lessons with Snape?
DUMBLEDORE: Professor Snape, and no
HARRY: Thank. God.
DUMBLEDORE: See you next month dude!
HARRY: But what am I supposed to do between now and then? Isn't like...Voldemort at large or something
DUMBLEDORE: No. Just chill for now.
HARRY: Cool
~~
At the Weasly's
GINNY: OMG I'm DTF for Dean
RON: Hey! You're not allowed to have a boyfriend! You're my sister!
GINNY: Girls do what they want.
HARRY: Awkward :$
HERMIONE: Hey Harry
TONKS: Wotcher Harry
RON: Hey dude
HARRY: So what have you guys been doing and why do I know nothing about what's going on?
RON: Cuz we can't tell you in letters they'll get intercepted
HARRY: Oh, of course, I completely understand. Seriously, I don't understand how normal teenagers would ever communicate with eachother without magic, I mean it's not like they have hand held devices that would send messages instantly
RON: Yea, that's really crazy
HERMIONE: Have you met fleur?
HARRY: Yea why?
GINNY: She's marrying my brother Bill. She's french. And she's super annoying.
HERMIONE: Amen
HARRY: Really? This is the most important thing on everyone's mind right now?
RON: Oh no...
HERMIONE: What happened?
HARRY: Our marks are in
RON: Quick shut the windows and doors
The Owls come in with results from their OWLS exams from the previous year.
Here is Harry;s report card:
Legend:
Outstanding (O), Exceeds Expectations (E) Acceptable (A); Poor (P), Dreadful (D), Troll (T)
Astronomy - A
Care of Magical Creatures - E
Charms - E
Defence against the Dark Arts - O (obviously)
Divination - P
Herbology - E
History of Magic - D
Potions - E
Transfiguration - E
RON: Hermione how'd you do?
HERMIONE: Not bad
RON: Oh come off it,
Takes the Paper
RON: Nine outstandings and 1 Exceeds expectations. You're so awesome!
More to come later guys! We haven't even got to spying on Draco Yet!
