lifeguard↠ e.d.

old habits

nineteen
ethan

"bonfire tonight. you in?" justin asks, a smile spreading across his face. we were switching stands around the pool, and he met me halfway.

"depends. who's going?"

"everyo-"

"no."

"you have to be kidding me ethan! you've been a damn hermit ever since you and grace started having problems, just let loose a little, it'll be fun."

"be quiet you fucker! she's over there," i said quietly, but still managed to trail off.

"that's not a response to my accusation, dolan."

"i'll think about it." i snap. that was a lie. there was absolutely no way i was going to go. i walked away from him and climbed up the lifeguard stand, and went back to observing all of the annoying prepubescents and pubescents.

i honestly wasn't paying much attention. someone could have literally drowned and i probably wouldn't have noticed. my attention span was finally back when i heard my name being called. it was grayson, and when i locked eyes on him he repeatedly nodded his head to his right. alisha saw and smacked him on his arm.

it was hayden, justin's brother talking to grace. of fucking course it was grace. fury soon overtook me, so much to the point that i thought i'd combust. she was laughing with him and she nodded along to what he was saying, her eyes never leaving his, listening, and processing to what he was saying.

i look back at grayson, and i'm sure my demeanor completely changed. "do something," he mouthed with a 'duh' expression.

"yo hayden!" i had to do something before i talked myself out of it. he tore his eyes away from grace before looking back at me, meanwhile grace looked at me with fury. my heart panged when i made eye contact with her.

"what's up man?" he called back innocently. i motioned for him to come to me, and he did, visibly saying goodbye to grace.

he finally gets to me, and i have to lean down from the tall lifeguard stand for him to hear what i'm saying without me screaming at him.

"how about you stop fucking talking to grace, and getting back to work. you know? since you're a lifeguard and all?"

he nods awkwardly and walks quickly to his stand. i smirk in satisfaction, but my cockiness soon deteriorated when i see the look grace is giving me. ill admit, i'm jealous, but i would never admit it to anyone else, especially her.

L I F E G U A R D

"ethan come on!" justin said as he practically dragged me to the beach. we were probably the last ones to arrive at the bonfire, depending on my stubbornness. the other guys lost interest in dragging me to the beach, but justin was relentless. he always was.

"see, you fucker? we're here. now go have fun and let loose with me and the guys."

i looked around the beach, he wasn't lying about everyone being invited to the bonfire, because everyone was here. this area of the beach was absolutely packed. it was hard to believe that this was my forte not that long ago. now, instead of being surrounded by a big crowd of people, i only want to be with one person, and i can't.

we walked down the sand dune and walked to where the other lifeguards were, bottles and cups of alcohol in their hands. giant speakers were set up around the beach that blared music practically everywhere.

"what's up guys?" justin yelled over the music. they all saw me and justin and ushered to us, shouting in celebration. ben handed me a beer and i already made it clear to myself that i wasn't going to drink it.

"what'd you have to do to get e out of the house?" jessica giggles. i kind of zoned out of their conversation and scanned the beach once again. i tried to find grace, but i couldn't. the beer was cold in my hands and i held it awkwardly, i've unfortunately never really just held a beer without drinking it at all.

i desperately kept looking, my mind couldn't help but wander to where she was. what if she was in danger? there's a lot of drunk people here, and people can clearly make bad decisions under the influence. i don't want anyone to hurt her like i did.

and that's when i saw her, it was when i was deep in thought, and i saw her all the way across the beach sitting on the dune with a guy it looked like. at first i thought it could have been someone else, but the girls head was thrown back as her mouth was wide open , meaning she was laughing. it was exactly how grace laughs. meaning there was someone making her laugh. there wasn't a doubt in my mind that the guy making her laugh was hayden.

i took the cap off of the beer and put it to my lips, the liquid seamlessly going down my throat.

L I F E G U A R D

i'm sorry that it's been a long time
but if it makes you feel better they'll make up soon lmao