Levi x Reader: Survival

Chapter 8

What?! NO!

You were in your room, the sun had just risen, but you couldn't care less. You had spent the night crying, thinking about what had happened in the Mess Hall the day before.

~ Flashback, "general" POV ~

Everyone was silent, astonished by Levi's outburst. He was fuming, rage filled his eyes the moment Erwin pronounced those dreadful words: "I decided to reward you... and promote you to Squad Leader". He couldn't believe him. How could he expect (F/n) to be ready to train someone? How could he demand her the nerve to command a squad of her own? No, these were all wrong questions. What was plaguing this mind at the moment was something darker: how could he force (F/n) to have a squad when he knows for certain that she'll give up her life to save her subordinates'?

"You can't do this Eyebrows. I won't let you do this shit. She's not ready. The brat will get her whole squad killed the first time they step outside. Just fucking thank her. Don't push this too far." he growled looking at Erwin directly in the eyes.

In the meanwhile (F/n) was almost on the verge of breaking down: why didn't Levi trust her? After all she had done for him he still didn't trust her. Did he see her as someone weak? Someone incapable of having responsibilities? Did he really think she was just a brat?
The Commander snapped her back to life by gently placing his hand on her shoulder in a caring manner.

"Levi, you are not to question my decision. (F/n) will be an excellent Squad Leader, her skills will let us have an important advantage outside the walls. I suggest you go to your office and reflect on this, I'm sure you'll come to my same conclusion sooner or later. (F/n), come to my office, I'll tell you there what I expect from you."
"Yes, Sir." you answered, glancing at Levi before looking at your feet. You saw him stomping away, his usual scowl deeper and darker.
"Commander, will Captain Levi be alright?" you dared asking.
"I don't know what upset him so much (F/n), but I hope he'll come to terms with your new position. I'm not backing down." he answered sternly.

~ Time skip to Erwin's office, back to normal POV ~

Erwin sat across from you on his armchair, his elbows plopped on the table, his chin supported by his joined hands. He had a thoughtful expression, as if deciding how to word best what was saying in his mind.

"(F/n), it's time for me to tell you what I want you to do in regards to the training of the cadets. I want you to teach them basic survival skills such as how to build a hut in the least amount of time, work and materials, how to recognise edible fruits and plants and how to properly cook them, how to shoot a prey and how to give first aid to an injured soldier. Is that all clear?"
"Yes, Sir!" you chirped. This is going to be fun.
"Then, you are dismissed. I expect great things from you, Squad Leader (L/n)." he said with his lips slightly curled upwards.

You saluted and exited the room, deciding to go and check on Levi. You were hurt by his comments but your worry overcame pain and fear, and so you knocked on his door.

"What."
"I-It's (F/n) Sir. I wanted to make sure you were fine." you said in the most gentle tone your quivering voice could permit. You didn't dare call him Levi anymore: you were back to the HQ and besides, after what he had said, you didn't feel like doing it anyway.
"Go the fuck away." he said angrily. Every second the pain in your chest was growing but you were set on talking to Levi.
"Please Levi... j-just let me in." you were sure the moment he would open the door you would have started sobbing, you were beyond hurt now. After all we've been through... why do you still treat me like this?
"No. Go. Away." he grunted.

You were now fully sobbing, you rested your back against the wall, next to his door, and slumped down in a sitting position, hugging your knees and burying your head in your arms.

~ Levi's POV ~

I could hear her outside my office. She was crying desperately, all because of me. So much for stopping being a dick eh?

I couldn't really help it though, keeping my mouth shut I mean. what I said before to Erwin was true, even if the way I said it may have seemed brutal. She would offer her life in exchange of her subordinates. After all, that's what she had done with me. I couldn't let her risk her life on a regular basis. I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her.

Hurting her like this was devastating me, but I was willing to do anything to avoid getting her killed. Even if she will hate me afterwards.

~ back to normal POV again ~

You stayed there for hours, not even bothering to go and get dinner. You weren't hungry anyway. The sun was almost set when you decided that maybe sleeping would have helped you forget this at least for a brief time. How wrong you were.

~ End of flashback ~

You decided it was time to get ready and have breakfast. You were a bit hungry since you skipped dinner. You took a shower and put on your uniform before checking your appearance in the mirror, knowing that tears and lack of sleep didn't do any good to you, but what you saw was beyond dreadful. I look uglier than a titan. Just great, way to impress the cadets (F/n). They sure won't forget your face now.

Arriving at the Mess Hall you saw Hanji waving frantically at you, supposedly to tell you to sit with her. She started talking about how excited she was to see how you would do today, but you weren't paying attention: you had noticed the bizarre absence of the Corporal, since he never missed his meals and you were sure no one had brought his food to his office, but didn't dare ask Hanji. Why is he doing this to himself? And why do I feel responsible for this?

After you washed your teeth and all, you headed to the training grounds to prepare the training for the day: shooting.

You never shoot in front of others since you knew they would remain freaked out: you had a perfect aim, thanks to your training your father gave you as a child you were as good as a sniper. Or even better.

You set up some targets at eye level. They had the shape of a person but for now they would do. You made a note to yourself about buying some animal-shaped ones. Then you traced a line 100 metres away from the targets, placing a table behind it and put some guns and ammunitions on it. The firing range was done.

30 minutes later the cadets arrived and lined up, saluting. You waved them off and started explaining what they were going to do, but you stopped before speaking, something, or rather someone, catching your attention:

Levi was right in front of you.