The Lovers of Life

CHAPTER XIX - IF ONE IS, ONE CAN BECOME

"But everybody thinks that everybody knows
About everybody else, nobody knows
Anything, about themselves
Because they're all worried about everybody else"

Wasting Time – On And On - Jack Johnson

A faint buzzing filled my brain. It was quite irritatin. I tried to move. I could feel a pillow under my head, if I could only fold it over my ears, it might muffle the buzzing. But I couldn't move. I had absolutely no control over my limbs. The whispers were like shrieks, and could I have moved, my hands would be clamped over my ears.

There were loud thuds, like elephants running near me and trampling over me. It seemed everything around me would fall to pieces if the violent trembling continued. I could feel my bones rattling against one another as if I was, somehow, broken.

Whispers over my body threatened to shatter my eardrums. Then came relief, liberation, numbness. The whispers weren't painful anymore, but soothing. I couldn't understand the words, but I recognized magic.

"Myrrha?"

I tried to answer, I could hear, oh, but how to let them know? I felt cold; something cold was touching me. It seemed I was the one turning cold. I would have sighed, finally – I was dying in perfect and blissful harmony. This was the end – could I be dead?

"Dalila! Help!" exclaimed someone.

People hurried forward, gathering around me. Were they all gaping at me as I died? That's it, watch me die, the lot of you! Oh, how I'd love to see your faces right now.

"Her soul is shattered; if her body dies now so does her soul!"

She sounded worried. I wondered why. I had managed to sell my soul, have it shattered to pieces before getting it back. Why had I done that? I couldn't recall.

Confusion reigned in my mind and the harder I tried to make things clear, the warmer I felt. I wasn't dying after all, it seemed. Well, it would be for another time, I expect. The warmth was pleasant now and I settled down in it, thinking I could live like this for ever, locked with only my thoughts for company.

I felt something burning me and I wished I could have screamed. The seconds were eternal as the thing touched me, but soon it was over. I felt someone take my hand and people stirring about.

"Myrrha, can you open your eyes?"

What a stupid question! Of course I can't. But already I could see. Sitting on both my sides were the two beautiful ladies I had seen enter the White Inn. I had been talking with my father when they had entered. The one talking to me now had short hair and she was smiling. I could see her wide wings. On my other side sat a woman, less angelic than the other, but equal in beauty, although rather pale. She had wavy black hair and orange eyes. There was something familiar about her; I had seen her before.

"So you're my father's mysterious mistress!" I said without any preamble.

She smiled and let out a faint laugh of relief. Oh, she was the one all right. But there was something even more in her that seemed familiar – the curve of her cheeks, her soft chin and something in the mouth. And I knew where I had seen these before. Every time I looked in the mirror.

So, Christian hadn't lied after all. I had met my mother, as he had promised I would. I hadn't avenged her, but that hadn't been my idea. Standing alive here was my mother, why avenge one who still breathes and talks?

I spared a glance for the others. There were three figures at the back of the room, but I couldn't make them out properly for they were blinding golden figures, glowing like fires. They seemed to be talking amongst themselves. Close at hand stood Matthew – and I wondered briefly what he was doing here before turning my gaze to the ones next to him. There was a tall handsome man with long slightly curly dark hair. He seemed thoughtful and was merely gazing at me absent minded. At his side stood two slightly transparent, yet solid figures. A pretty woman with light brown hair and wearing an elaborate dress. Her hair was carelessly tied and falling around her face. The second translucent figure, I already knew, for he was my father.