ABANDON

Chapter 23 -- Depression

Jane woke up to the sound of voices, faint and far away.  She relaxed and tried to go back to sleep.  For days she had drifted in and out of sleep.  When she was asleep she dreamed of a door, and when she was awake she stared at the ceiling, trying not to think of all the people she had killed.

    People came and went, making her get up and walk around, making her use the waste recycling machine, explaining that her waste was full of water, and water was more precious than peace. 

    She didn't feel like eating, she didn't feel like moving, all she wanted to do was sleep, and dream of that door.  Sometimes Michael would force her to eat.  Even though she wasn't hungry she ate.  Didn't matter what it was, didn't matter how much, she didn't care any more.   

    She had no idea how much time had passed, but what did it matter? She could lie here.  There was nothing for her to do. Besides, even if she did something people would die, and she was tired of that.  Better to just stay here and sleep.  Eternally sleep. Jane closed her eyes.

    Heavy footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.  Jane recognized their cadence, it was Michael.

    "I know you're awake Jane, it's time to check your arm."

    Jane didn't move. She could feel Michael pull her arm over and release the cuff.

    "Well, it's less black now.  Some of it is actually a lovely shade of pea green." Michael sighed.  "What I wouldn't give for a bowl of fresh peas.  I don't even care if they still had the pod.  And that's saying something—I hate peas!"

    Jane's arm felt cold as the liquid was spread across it.  The room was silent.  Jane could feel Michael very close to her arm.

    "You've got a scratch that is having a hard time healing.  But it doesn't stand a chance against this,"  Michael paused, "yellow stuff.  C'mon, wake up Jane.  It's time to eat."

    Jane didn't move.

    "Come on, you're like a lump.  Get up.  The winter is over, stop hibernating." Michael gave Jane a shove in the ribs.  She still didn't move.

    "Suit yourself." Michael sounded frustrated.  "I came to tell you I'm going.  I don't know how long I'll be gone for.  I think they said six days. But I've procrastinated this long enough." 

    Jane heard Michael put the lid back on the jar.  "I'm understanding the Akai'nii more each day, you should try it, really.  The language is not that difficult and everyone is patient and ready to help."  Michael put the jar in one of the holes.   

    "Anyways, I'll be back and then I'll tell you all about the trip.  Hoshe broke one of the big jars and since he broke it he has to replace it."  Michael laughed a little.  "Hoshe did not look happy when Kill told him he'd have to come on the next trip to find a replacement jar.  He's only fourteen.  But in one year he'd be out there anyway.  John explained that Hoshe wasn't upset that he had to go out, actually going out is what they all want to do, but that he had to go because he broke a jar.  I guess its kind of humiliating or something. Especially on his first time.  They go out often or else they will starve.  And I guess since we are part of them now, we starve too.  I haven't figured out where they get water, but with what they recycle there is enough.

    "This cave is part naturally occurring part old terraformer branch.  I saw the stacks.  I've mentioned it to John but he didn't seem to know what I was talking about.  I really like them, just saying.  They would do anything for us, for each other.  Anything Jane.  The whole group works on principles of trust and respect.  Even the children Jane. They are strong, you should see the games they play.  And the weapons they've made.  There is something strange about the metal on this planet, it's magnetized.  They've got these bullets that even if the penetration doesn't get you the shift in pressure will.  Even the kids know how to use them.  It's no wonder they are so skilled in fighting."  Michael paused.