Four Broken Pieces ✓

Fifty Three

He was already here. He stood a little bit away from my mother's grave with his back against a tree and his head tilted up to face the stars. He didn't move even when a branch snapped under my foot. It looked like an eerie scene out a painting. I pulled my jacket tightly around myself. He didn't seem to be breathing as I finally stepped up beside him. Despite his silence, he still looked better than he'd sounded on the phone. There were a few tear marks under his eyes but his face remained devoid of emotion like he was caught up in the past.

I didn't want to break the silence he'd created so instead, I looked up to the sky as well. It was a beautiful night. The sadness of this moment only made it more beautiful. Stars dotted the blue canvas and its light even seemed to infiltrate the dark place we stood in. The graveyard had probably been home to infinite tears, cries of pain, lost hopes and dreams and the vicious hands of death but it had never looked as peaceful as it did now. The still, calm atmosphere was fitting in a way. The dead were at peace. Death was peace in a way. It was we, the living, which was tormented with the grief of losing them. I looked to my mother's grave. From the distance, it seemed painfully small as if it didn't house a whole life inside it. They'd chosen a white headstone but I wasn't close enough to see the engraving they'd chosen. A small bouquet of lilies, her favorite flower, lay there as well. Nonno must have laid them there. He must have been here for quite some time. I turned away from her grave as I felt the tears rising up. I had to shut them down. 

"It's a beautiful night." My head snapped to Nonno's as he spoke. He looked down at me with a small smile before sitting down on the ground with his legs before him. He still looked up to the sky. I sat beside him and kept my eyes fixed on the grass below me as his voice took on a reflective quality. He had been lost in the past.

"She'd have liked this. She would have wanted to be here, with us, though I suppose there would be no reason for us to here if she didn't lie there. The night always calmed her down. She'd go sit outside on the porch and look at the stars for hours. She never told me why but I knew it had something to do with you and your father." I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, as my chest seemed to constrict. Any mention of my mother was painful. These stories that brought her to life were like a punch to the gut. My voice came out high-pitched and uneven.

"How do you know?"

"You're the only two people in the world that can put that look on her face. I made her happy, even Robert made her happy but you two were the only ones that gave her peace." I doubt I'd given her peace when I'd all but condemned her to death. I'd ruined the peace she could have found with Robert. My lower lip was wobbling. If he kept saying things like this, I'd only break and give in to the pain. I quickly interjected before he could continue.

"Nonno. I need to ask you something." Nonno nodded for me to go on, sensing the sudden change in tone.

"Is it okay to keep...pursuing something even though there's a lot of danger associated with it?" Nonno narrowed his eyes as he thought over my question and wondered where it had even come from. I had to be as vague as possible if I wanted to reveal nothing to him.

"It depends on what you're pursuing." I hadn't wanted to reveal my second thoughts about the boys but it seems I had no choice. I needed answers and I needed advice. He was the only one that would give it to me.

"Love." His eyes widened as he glanced at me. The pieces fit together in his head but he didn't judge me for getting involved in something that led to the loss of his daughter. He probably already knew of the boys' connections and yet he wasn't angry with me for not even warning him. Understanding that came with age filled those eyes.