Cinnamon Summer [EDITING]

Chapter 17

//Again unedited. I AM SORRY. //

Last two days ago,

"You are not going anywhere. That's final."

That is what the manager said after scolding Ilhoon for hours as soon as Ilhoon wakes up from bed after he was brought to his house from Hyunsik's. The moment the manager left, Ilhoon tug himself in on the sofa again. Ilhoon has always got scolded for partying with friends. So, he would easily get over within a few hours but this time is not the same. It is not the normal party or normal sleepover at some friends' house. It was two sips of wine and one kiss.

And yes, Ilhoon remembers everything. He remembered taking the wine and he remembered kissing the older. And he also remembered that the manager took him bank to his home because he woke up on the way back on the car.

And yes, this time getting grounded is different. It is like a torture. And if you might ask why, well, who would like to get grounded when you come back all the way here to meet someone who gives you thousands of butterflies with millions of sparks within a second? Who would like to get grounded when the main reason of flying back to Korea is to meet someone who makes your heart skips a beat, someone who makes you forget to breathe...someone who makes you feel like flying but actually you are falling. Tell me who would like to get grounded when all you ever wanted is to meet the one that you like.

Thus, the conclusion of all the things happened last twenty-four hours ago is that none other than that: Ilhoon likes Hyunsik.

That's right. He likes him...as a friend, as a college, as a brother and as a lover. Ilhoon likes him as a lover. And everything makes sense when Hyunsik comes along. The reason why he could get over his ex was because Hyunsik is already there in his life by that time. The reason why he invited Hyunsik to visit Japan is because he wanted the older to be with him at least one more week, not because he has no courage to go back when his girlfriend already left him. The so-called love that he had for that bitch, ex-girlfriend, Ilhoon thinks, is the myth. The true love could so much more than this.

Ilhoon believes true love is not that you go and meet your partner because it is your duty as a boyfriend. True love is not that you give flowers and necklace because everyone does that in their anniversary. It is not that you keep reminding yourself that you love that person so that you have to do all the thing that your partner asks you to do so.

True love, what Ilhoon thinks, means that you are dying from not seeing them. It is more like cooking food and making mochi because you actually want them to have something that you make with the feelings of excitement, happiness and love. It is more like you are paralyzed in the process of falling that you don't know how deep you are getting. True love is something sweet and something gentle...something fragile.

Thus, after series of thoughts on the plane, Ilhoon realised he likes Hyunsik.

But the feeling is now faded. He kissed Hyunsik. He fell asleep and he woke up on the car to his home, leaving Hyunsik behind...or is that Hyunsik let him go? Secretly, Ilhoon wishes Hyunsik to hold him tight but seems like the older didn't. Maybe Hyunsik does not like him that way.

But that does not stop Ilhoon from going back to the older. That's why he waited. He waited the exact two days. That day after his encounter with some directors and event managers for the event, he was free. He did not have any further schedule. That's why he decided to find Hyunsik. Call him obsessed or not, he tried to stalk Hyunsik that evening. And at 10 pm, thanks to Sungjae's Instagram posts about how his hyungs got drunk, he found out that Hyunsik is at the club.

That's why he went there. But seeing Hyunsik's sad eyes is not helping at all. Moreover, Ilhoon hates to see the older dancing with some guys. That is why he stepped closer to him. Apparently, Hyunsik held him close.

No... this is not good. Ilhoon does not want Hyunsik to hold him this close...close enough to sense the alcohol smell...close enough to see those thick lips. Ilhoon, being someone who is unconditionally falling for Hyunsik, he wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to be under Hyunsik touch again. Last two days ago, it was only a few minutes that Hyunsik hands travel down to Ilhoon's body. But those big hands were the drugs to Ilhoon.

Oh, how good it must be to be under the touch again. That was the last thought Ilhoon had before all these miseries happened. Things happened so quickly. One minute they are in the middle of the crowd but the next minute Ilhoon noticed was that he already lied down on soft with no shirt on and above him was Hyunsik, looking at him with lust and all those dirty thoughts.

Getting bitten all over the body is abit harsh for Ilhoon but that's okay since it was Hyunsik. Some moment passed by and still they are making out on this freaking sofa but that was when everything goes wrong. Hyunsik realised it was Ilhoon.

"I... Ilhoon" he said. Ilhoon can see his hyung eyed all over his body and started to sit back and pushed the boy away. No...this is not what I wanted, hyung.

"H-Hyung." Ilhoon called him, more like whispering because he is also as scared as Hyunsik. Ilhoon does not know what makes Hyunsik look so scared and sorrowful at the same time, but he is sure that the thought of Hyunsik getting disgusted, makes him scared.

"I...I am s-sorry. I am sorry. I am s..so sorry." Hyunsik started to apologize. No hyung... you don't need to apologise.

"Hyung, look at me." Ilhoon said.

"I...I made you c-cry." Now that Hyunsik said it, he realises his eyes are abit teary. But that was because he never had the rough bites on his body.

"No, you don't. It's just...you know, getting bitten on my body hurts." Ilhoon said jokingly. But that only makes Hyunsik worse. Ilhoon watches Hyunsik getting shivered and looking at him like as if Ilhoon is broken... and the culprit was Hyunsik. Ilhoon knows what Hyunsik is thinking and he wanted to tell him that he is fine and they can keep doing what they are doing if Hyunsik does not consider that as a sin. But before he could say anything, Hyunsik left him.

"I...am sorry, Ilhoon ah."

And suddenly, Ilhoon could sense his heart stops beating for the moment or did he stop breathing? Things get suffocating within seconds and now, Ilhoon is on the sofa, shirtless with plump lips, red marks and clothes on the floor.

But the culprit is nowhere to be found...

Why did you leave me Hyunsik hyung? Without knowingly, Ilhoon feels the warm liquids falling down on his cheeks. It is his tears and he is crying. Or maybe you don't feel the same? then, you shouldn't have touched me.... but again. 

If the painter started painting, he has to finish his work. He can't sketch one mark and leave the pearl white paper alone. He is not supposed to start the work without ending. The work without ending makes the paper ugly. Now, Hyunsik becomes that careless painter where Ilhoon is the pure white paper with ugly mark.

if the work without ending makes the paper ugly, then the love without answer makes Ilhoon empty... Right... after Hyunsik left, empty is what Ilhoon feels. But strangely, he embraces it happily.